You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #countries #people #newspapers #news #tv

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Nowadays majority of young people

does

Change the verb form

show examples

not have the habit of watching TV

news

read

Wrong verb form

reading

show examples

print media.

This

essay will delve into reasons for

this

phenomenon and put forward some possible solutions to tackle

this

issue

. First and foremost, the obvious reason

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young people hesitate to follow

news

Add an article

the news

show examples

is lack of

time

In other words

, in the concurrent world, youngsters follow

feverish

Correct article usage

a feverish

show examples

life

due to

the academic burden.

For example

, university

students

have to spend at least 80 hours per week to complete

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

studies,

therefore

, they would not have sufficient

time

to read or watch

news

Add an article

the news

show examples

similarly

, since part-

time

jobs are on the

increse

Correct your spelling

increase

among young

students

, they might not interested

to spend

Change preposition

in spending

show examples

their spare

time

to follow

Change the verb form

following

show examples

news

Correct article usage

the news

show examples

instead

hangout

Correct your spelling

hanging out

show examples

with friends.

Besides

, it is undeniably true that teenagers are in the clutches of social media.

As a result

, they lost interest in

real life

Add a hyphen

real-life

show examples

social issues.

Nevertheless

, there are some

pracitcal

Correct your spelling

practical

solutions to address

this

issue

Change preposition

show examples

a great

extend

Replace the word

extent

show examples

Firstly

, governments should provide financial support to pay

tution

Correct your spelling

tuition

fee

Fix the agreement mistake

fees

show examples

for

needed

Replace the word

needy

show examples

students

. By doing

this

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

would not

require

Wrong verb form

be required

show examples

to do part-

time

jobs, in turn, the

students

would

interested

Add a missing verb

be interested

show examples

in politics and social issues.

Secondly

, academic institutions should encourage

students

to follow

news

Correct article usage

the news

show examples

by allocating

time

for

Change preposition

show examples

read

news

paper

Fix the agreement mistake

papers

show examples

and watch TV.

Lastly

, the

authorites

Correct your spelling

authorities

and

non governmental

Add a hyphen

non-governmental

show examples

organisations should involve youngsters in social activities. Since

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

involve

Wrong verb form

are involved

show examples

in social matters, they

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

start to follow

news

update

Wrong verb form

be updated

show examples

. In conclusion, lack of

time

due to

academic and financial

burden

Fix the agreement mistake

burdens

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

the obvious reason for

this

issue

. Ergo, involving social activities and

integrate

Wrong verb form

integrating

show examples

news

reading and watching in academics are the practical solutions to tackle

this

issue

Submitted by ck.manshad on Thu Mar 07 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, focus on providing more specific examples to support your arguments. Rather than speaking generally about students and young people, offer anecdotes, studies, or statistics that demonstrate the trends and solutions you discuss.

Coherence and Cohesion

For Coherence and Cohesion, aim to connect your ideas more seamlessly. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas. Also, consider organizing paragraphs so that each one introduces its main idea in the first sentence, followed by supporting information and examples.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to add complexity and interest to your writing. Complex sentences can help demonstrate your language proficiency and make your arguments more nuanced.

Coherence and Cohesion

Review and correct grammatical errors and typos throughout the essay. Pay special attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article use. This will enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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