IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently bought an electronic device for your home. Your friend wants to buy the same device and has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter - Describe the device - Explain why you bought it -Say whether or not your friend should buy it and why

#device #home #friend #advice #-say
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Dear Lakhy Hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in radiant spirit. How is everything going and what about your studies? The purpose of inscribing
this
Linking Words
 missive is to give you
suggestion
Fix the agreement mistake
suggestions
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 about my recent purchase of an electronic
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 ordered from
amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
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last
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 week. It is of ABC company with
with
Remove the redundancy
apply
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battery capacity to work for 20 hours. I must say that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 am fully satisfied with its functions and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can say that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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had
Wrong verb form
have
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 spent money on
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right device. It works like a robot to clean the area;
basically
Add a comma
basically,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 set a specific area in its settings to clean the dust particles. It needs to get charged when
battery
Add an article
the battery
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 gets down. Actually,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 was in dire need of someone to do my domestic cleaning but as
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 was unable to find someone, so
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 bought it. It made my work easier and helps me like a human being in keeping my home spic and span. As you asked for my advice,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 can say that there is no better deal than buying
this
Linking Words
 device online. I can
also
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 share a gift voucher that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 received from the company for my
further
Linking Words
 purchase with
same
Change the article
the same
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 firm. Take care Your loving Preet
Submitted by bawanpreet070 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your letter. Consider introducing, detailing, and concluding each point more explicitly to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on transitioning smoothly between paragraphs and ideas. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your letter seamlessly.
task achievement
Provide a more detailed description of the device, focusing on specific features that make it stand out. This will add depth to your recommendation.
task achievement
Consider elaborating on your personal experience with the device in more detail. Include how it has specifically benefited you to provide a stronger basis for your advice.
task achievement
Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout the letter. Your tone is friendly and personal, which is suitable for writing to a friend. However, ensure your language remains respectful and considerate.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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