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Band 4

Every culture, throughout time, has recorded its history in one way or another. In what ways can history be passed on to the next generation? Why is history important to society?

#culture #time #history #generation #society
From the past, all cultures have recorded their
history
 in many ways throughout time.
This
 essay will discuss how we can pass to the next era and the effect of
history
for
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on
show examples
 society.
To begin
 with, we need to preserve former records as
clean
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cleanly
show examples
 as
passible
Correct your spelling
possible
show examples
,
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apply
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and make it
passible
Correct your spelling
possible
show examples
 to show them
for
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to
show examples
 young people. A good example is museums. These days, we can see a lot of historical records at many museums and it is one of the
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 we can learn about
history
.
Further more
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Furthermore
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, speaking of our lives, we should record them by movie.
Movie
Add an article
The movie
A movie
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 can convey not only facts but
also
atmosfares
Correct your spelling
atmospheres
 of cultures more than paper.
Moreover
, broadcasting about the records on TV or YouTube is
also
effective
Add an article
an effective
show examples
 way to spread historical
kowledges
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knowledge
knowledges
. Many people are not willing to study by books
voluntary
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voluntarily
show examples
, so I believe it will work. The main important importance of
history
 is that people can escape some fails.
For example
, in Japan, there a lot of region names
which are
Verb problem
that
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came
Wrong verb form
come
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 from certain disasters
such
 as
earthquick
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earthquake
,
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tsunamis
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tsunami
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tsunamis
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, and so on. Our ancients warned
its
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it's
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 dangerous
to
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for
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generations and keep us from living there.
As a result
, sometimes we can live safer than before. In conclusion, we need to convey our
history
by
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in
show examples
 the best way we can, and learn
history
 to live our lives better.
History
History
 is not just
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 of the subjects
on
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in
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 school, but it makes human
live
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life
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 easier, so we should make efforts to tell them to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 generation.
Submitted by mayu1022.p on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to guide the reader through your points. Avoid abrupt topic changes between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to separate different ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, expand on your points by providing more specific examples and detailed explanations to support the argument. This will make your points more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay for grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity and professionalism. Consistent errors can distract the reader from your main points.
task achievement
Improve the sophistication of your vocabulary to more accurately convey your thoughts. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • oral traditions
  • storytelling
  • preserving
  • manuscripts
  • cultural artifacts
  • conserving
  • curriculum
  • contemporary
  • documentaries
  • commemorate
  • cultural consciousness
  • genealogy
  • ancestry
What to do next:
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