Recreational drugs should be legalized and there should be no punishments for people who use them. To what extent do you agree
There is an opinion about making recreational
drugs
legally
and removing the fine for the users. I definitely disagree with Change the word
legal
this
argument for several reasons which will be explained in this
following essay.
Correct determiner usage
the
To begin
with, medicines should be used to cure people
, not for
solely Change preposition
apply
giving
pleasure. Scientists are Change the verb form
to give
giving
their best to improve Verb problem
doing
humanity
life by inventing healing items. Unfortunately, there are some bad Change noun form
humanity's
people
who want to disrespect their efforts by using the
Correct article usage
apply
drugs
for creating
some fantasy inside their brains. Change preposition
to create
As a result
, while
some sick individuals are becoming healthy, the
healthy individuals are getting sick because of consuming the Correct article usage
apply
drugs
falsely. For example
, there were many people
who died because of drug
overdose, mainly because of eating it Add an article
a drug
as
an attempt to achieve happiness.
Change preposition
in
Moreover
, by erasing punishments for illegal drugs
such
as heroine
and cocaine, Correct your spelling
heroin
this
action will increase the number of people
who want to try those degenerative but addictive items because they do not have anything to fear anymore. Consequently
, there will be many victims, not only adults but also
youngsters. For instance
, the strict rule of drug usage has prevented many students who are afraid to be jailed and have their future destroyed. However
, when this
regulation is deleted, many young adults will try something that they have never tasted in their entire life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as those
fantasy Correct determiner usage
apply
drugs
. At the end
of the day, more teens will fall into the addiction of these dangerous medical things and harm their bright potential to success
in the future.
Replace the word
succeed
To conclude
, I strongly dispute this
statement because it will reverse the holy goals of medical inventors that
lead Correct pronoun usage
apply
into
more diseases which need to be handled and it will hurt the quality of Change preposition
to
next
generations because of more addicted students.Correct article usage
the next
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Task Achievement
To enhance the task response, be sure to thoroughly address the specific question asked in the prompt. This means providing a balanced argument if the question requires you to discuss both sides or to what extent you agree or disagree. In your essay, a more direct address of the prompt and exploration of the implications of legalizing recreational drugs would tighten your response.
Task Achievement
Clarify and develop your main ideas more explicitly. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the idea you will discuss. Follow this with supporting details and examples. Make sure each idea directly supports your overall argument or thesis in response to the essay prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve essay structure and ensure that paragraphs flow naturally from one to the next. Use a variety of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, discourse markers) to link ideas within sentences and across paragraphs. Also, try to vary your sentence structures to enhance readability.
Coherence & Cohesion
Revise the introduction and conclusion to ensure they accurately reflect the essay’s content and stance. The introduction should clearly state your position regarding the prompt, and the conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your thesis in light of the evidence presented.