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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the population aged 65 and over of three countries in 1980 and 2000 and prediction in 2030

The bar chart below shows the population aged 65 and over of three countries in 1980 and 2000 and prediction in 2030
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The given information illustrates Japan's people by age stages beginning in 1960 and maintaining a prediction to 2040 Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, It is readily apparent that 0-14 aged children
started
Wrong verb form
start
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 from 30 in the first year,
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However
Add a comma
However,
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 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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slightly decreased since 1970 and it is predicted to be down to 10 by the end of the period.
On the other hand
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, Citizens aged between 15 to 64 appeared just over 60 to 70 in 1970
then
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 it was almost unchanged until the following thirty years.
Although
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 there is a noticeable fall that happened during 2000-2040. As for remaining, Over 65 residents began just above 10 at the beginning of the period and over 65 aged people groups climbed significantly to the end of the given period

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • demographic factors
  • healthcare demand
  • pension system
  • workforce implications
  • social security measures
  • community support programs
  • sustainable development
  • intergenerational equity
  • policy implications
  • lifestyle factors
  • population prediction
  • social and economic impacts
  • government policies
  • external factors
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