In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?
The
government
should pay for the care
of old people
in nursing homes. Older people
require assistance in multiple areas of life. Government
paying for them will not only allow less burden on the family but would be a way to return the taxes and the services
these people
have once provided for the country
.
Firstly
, I believe that access to nursing and other basic amenities is a fundamental right of all individuals. Access to quality health services
and support services
should be provided to everyone despite the differences or availability of financial means. By providing enough basic care
, the government
can free the families of these older people
from additional emotional as well as
financial burdens they might face. Placing the burden of financing long-term care
solely on families could exacerbate socioeconomic disparities and result in unequal access to essential services
based on financial status.
Secondly
, elder people
are a treasure of any country
. They have given the country
their youth and valuable services
, and in return for this
, the government
should be taking care
of them. For example
, a soldier who has spent his whole life fighting and safeguarding his country
,
deserves to be respected and taken Remove the comma
apply
care
of. This
will not only be a way to pay regards
to themFix the agreement mistake
regard
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
to set an example and show other young members that their country
and government
would be there for them as they are their
for the Correct your spelling
there
country
,
I strongly believe that Correct article usage
the Britian
Britian
Correct your spelling
British
government
should pay the costs of services
provided to old people
in old homes. This
will not only allow the families to be released of additional emotional and financial burdens, but it can be a way for government
to pay back for Add an article
the government
services
these old people
once provided them with.Submitted by a.bbuttar on
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Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the task. In this case, discussing the perspective of families paying for care could add depth to your argument. Aim to offer a more balanced view or explicitly refute the opposing view with clear reasons and examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance Coherence & Cohesion by logically organizing your ideas into well-structured paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by explanations and examples. To further assist the reader, employ linking words effectively to show the relationship between ideas.
Task Achievement
Incorporate specific examples to support your main points better. Examples add credibility to your arguments and make your essay more persuasive. These could be real-life cases, hypothetical scenarios, or referenced studies. Ensure that examples are directly related to the topic and clearly illustrate your point.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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