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Band 4

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
These days tutees prefer to
study
 other
subjects
 than science fields like
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 and engineering branches and
this
 issue is epidemic
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all states.
Overall
, as
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 seen in modern days students know what they want to become and
study
 in future.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 a
child
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 young age who plays with
lego
Capitalize word
Lego
show examples
 and
try
Correct subject-verb agreement
tries
show examples
 to build a
sky scraper
Correct your spelling
skyscraper
show examples
, house or building shows that kid is talented in
construction
Add an article
the construction
show examples
 field and it is important that parents pay attention to
Add an article
the
show examples
creativity of their
child
 because a kid can
analysis
Replace the word
analyse
show examples
 environment from
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 young age and can makes ways of how he or she can process and that means what they can do better. But
on the other hand
, in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 days parents
force
Wrong verb form
forced
show examples
 their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
 to
study
 medical and science
subjects
 or
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 they must become a
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
 or engineering and if they
desire
Wrong verb form
desired
show examples
 some other
subjects
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
 it meant that the
child
 could not handle hard
subjects
 and the kid is not that smart or intelligent.But the truth is there is no force for everybody to
study
 science
subjects
 because there are more fields that even can be more money
maker
Fix the agreement mistake
makers
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 than other branches
such
 as Graphic
designer
Replace the word
design
show examples
,Photography,Fashion
designer
Replace the word
design
show examples
,Painter,Web
developer
Replace the word
development
show examples
 and so on.
Therefore
, in
this
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 there are so many
subjects
 that can
be
Change the verb form
be studied
show examples
study
 and can be a career which is fine and a person who has aptitude can become professional in it. In conclusion,
this
 issue is not a problem but it is a changing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world for
subjects
 that could not
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 seen in these years and parents should encourage their beloved children
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 what they truly desire to
study
 and wish to become.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear, logical structure for your essay by organizing it into distinct paragraphs with an introduction, body, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with specific details or examples.
Task Achievement
Focus on thoroughly answering all parts of the prompt. Make sure to directly address the reasons for the trend described in the prompt and its effects on society. Provide specific examples and expand on your ideas to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on developing and supporting your main points with evidence or examples. Each body paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of the topic, and you should clearly explain how each point supports your overall argument.
Task Achievement
Improve your essay's clarity by being more specific and detailed in your explanation of ideas and examples. Avoid being too general. Use precise language and carefully chosen examples to illustrate your points clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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