IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Differences between countries are becoming less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world we see the same films, fashion, brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages of this outweigh the advantages?

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It is argued that special aspects in countries
being
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are being
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 reduced
anually
Correct your spelling
annually
 because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 appear almost on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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TV channels,
magazines
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in magazines
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 and
document
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in document
show examples
 films. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why the drawbacks outweigh the advantages. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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 hand, the
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 in products and media
contents
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content
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 has several positive, It
help
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helps
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 citizens can
understanding
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understand
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tradition
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traditions
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 from different
part
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parts
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 of the world.
For instance
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, films about fashion trends will attract the attention of young people, which help advertise countries's fashion.
In addition
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, it
also
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 brings many chances to collaborate between nations about some aspects like entertainment and education, because the online document is always available on the Internet.
On the other hand
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, there are several negatives that will affect to citizens of
this
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 country. Details, the information about a special thing will lack
of
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apply
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the attention
by
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of
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 tourism because it is easier to
finding
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find
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 on the Internet
like
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apply
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images, videos, and descriptions.
For example
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, the introduction of Santa Claus by Americans has overshadowed the belief in the birth of Christ during Christmas celebrations.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 trend directly impacts the livelihoods of local artisans and cultural practitioners who rely on the preservation and promotion of their unique cultural heritage for sustenance. In conclusion, cultural sharing between countries can
brings
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bring
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 many benefits that help increase the
tradition
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traditions
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 of each country.
In
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From
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 my perspective, I believe that
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
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 outweigh the advantages in
this
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 argument. It is crucial to strike a balance between promoting cultural exchange and safeguarding the unique identities and livelihoods of communities worldwide.

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that directly address the essay prompt. Your introduction could more explicitly outline the advantages and disadvantages discussed, while your conclusion should summarize your stance more clearly.
Supporting examples
Develop your main points with more specific examples to clearly illustrate your arguments. While you provide some examples, depth and specificity could be enhanced to better support your position.
Paragraph Structure
Work on the structure of your paragraphs; each should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details and examples. Some paragraphs blend topics, which can confuse readers. Try using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea.
Task Response
Improve task achievement by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. You've touched on the disadvantages and advantages, but further exploration and comparison would provide a more comprehensive response to the question.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance your coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly within and across paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to show relationships between ideas and maintain a logical flow.
Grammar & Style
Check for grammatical errors and aim for variety in sentence structure. This will not only improve readability but also demonstrate your proficiency in English. Small mistakes can distract from your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • cultural homogenization
  • indigenous cultures
  • economic benefits
  • cultural imperialism
  • global market
  • cultural exchange
  • local economies
  • consumer choice
  • technology
  • unifying force
  • global trends
  • accessibility
  • dominate
  • immediate access
  • job creation
  • local traditions
  • global experiences
  • risks
  • compete
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