In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #women #jobs #men #logic #housework #tasks

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In numerous countries worldwide

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

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days,

large

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a large

show examples

group

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groups

show examples

of females

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

full-time

position

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positions

show examples

works

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

as males. It is logical,

then

Linking Words

, that both must develop different household

tasks

Use synonyms

Change the article

show examples

equal way. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statment

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statement

and in

this

Linking Words

essay

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essay,

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I will explain why.

Firstly

Linking Words

, society

have

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has

show examples

improve

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improved

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regards to

women

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's rights. Particularly, in the

last

Linking Words

few years, many countries all around the world have

develop

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developed

show examples

new

politics

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policies

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which

allows

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allow

show examples

women

Use synonyms

to gain

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

rights as men.

Additionally

Linking Words

women

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have been progressing in their profession which

have

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has

show examples

lead

Wrong verb form

led

show examples

them to take full-time jobs in order to

built

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build

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their

carrears

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careers

As a result

Linking Words

, females

have

Add a missing verb

do have

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not too much time for doing

tasks

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at home without help.

For instance

Linking Words

, a

resent

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recent

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reaserch

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research

taken by Oxford University has shown that during 2023 in Europe

females

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female

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CEO's

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CEOs'

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poisitions

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positions

position

have increased

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show examples

Correct article usage

apply

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60%

compare

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compared

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to 2022.

This

Linking Words

mean

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means

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that

women

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are getting more occupied building their professional

life

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lives

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than spending time developing housework

taks

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tasks

takes

Secondly

Linking Words

, sharing household

tasks

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help

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helps

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to create a powerful relationship between partners. Specifically,

women

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feel supported by men

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show examples

developing the different

tasks

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of the house and

having

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have

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the feeling that they are creating a good family environment based on teamwork, which

lead

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leads

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to a stronger and more connected relationship.

For example

Linking Words

, an article published by BBC News Asutralia in March 2023 has

demontrated

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demonstrated

that 80% of

women

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are more happy and feel

fullfield

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fulfilled

full-field

because men

helps

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help

show examples

them to get a balance between work and personal life.

To conclude

Linking Words

, as

per

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apply

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women

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have gained more participation in their

works

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work

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, is valuable to

shared

Wrong verb form

show examples

responsabilities

Correct your spelling

responsibilities

at home and feel supported to still focus on their professional

carrears

Correct your spelling

careers

Submitted by msolemilocco on Fri Mar 08 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear main idea. Your essay introduces several topics, but some are more developed than others. Focus on explaining and elaborating on a single main point per paragraph.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to better connect your ideas and provide signposts for your reader. Examples include 'Furthermore,' 'In contrast,' and 'As a result.' Your essay currently has some, but increased use can improve flow and understanding.

Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your introduction and conclusion are both distinct and clear. Your introduction should outline the topic and your stance, while your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position. Both should be immediately identifiable and separate from the main body paragraphs.

Task Response

Address the prompt fully by ensuring your essay clearly states your opinion on the topic and then backs up that opinion with well-explained reasons and relevant examples. It's important that each main idea is supported by specific examples or evidence.

Task Response

Work on clearly structuring your essay to ensure that your response is complete. This includes having a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea with supporting details, and a conclusion that wraps up your argument.

General

Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar to increase the clarity of your writing. Avoid run-on sentences, and ensure correct verb tenses and article usage. Consider having your work proofread or using language learning tools to help identify and correct these issues.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

evolutionary shift
workforce participation
shared responsibilities
partnership model
connected relationships
domestic sphere
gender equality
role models
practical challenges
technological advancements
societal norms
distribution of chores
physical ability
personal preferences
alleviate the burden
dynamics

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In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The two plans below compare the layout of a typical Japanese office and a typical American office. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays the way modern society is developing is being shaped by people's migration to large cities. In what ways is migration to large cities affecting society? Is this a positive or negative development?