“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Some people believe that putting criminals in jail is efficient in reforming them, as it helps separate them from the
community
. The purpose of prison being made
was to reform the Verb problem
apply
community
that has misbehaving conduct, reshaping them into better person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
Thus
, I am in complete agreement that putting criminals behind the
bars is the right choice to make.
Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, by having criminals locked in a cell, making them separate from the community
, society
will feel at ease as there will be a lesser chance of getting harmed. Secondly
, the prisoners
will have a better quality of life in jail. As they will be reshaped into a person who will be able to contribute to the community
by learning essential skills. Contrary to what the
Correct article usage
apply
society
stigmatises about prisons, prisons are clearly not a bad thing. The prisoners
will be catered to their needs, from foods
to essentials, something that they might have lacked during their time in Fix the agreement mistake
food
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.
For example
, during their time in jail child prisoners
(those who are under the legal age yet committed a crime) will be schooled privately and learn skills that might be useful for them on getting a job later in the future. Such
as sewing, painting, even
machinery in spite of their . Correct word choice
and even
It is clear that
their misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
are
getting reshaped in order for them to blend in with Change the verb form
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
once their prison time ended
.
In conclusion, prisons are the right choice in order to reprimand these people who are Wrong verb form
ends
misconducting
and become a threat to the locals. Replace the word
misconduct
Moreover
, the prisoners
are guaranteed to have the important skills of life before being relocated to the community
.Submitted by tiana29.alisjahbana on
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task achievement
To improve in the task achievement area, ensure that you address the prompt more directly. It suggests discussing the effectiveness of prison as a form of punishment and whether it's the only effective method. You should also consider counter-arguments to create a more balanced essay.
task achievement
Work on developing clear, comprehensive ideas by expanding on how prisons aim to reform criminals, and include a wider range of examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, aim to have a more structured approach to your paragraphs. Begin each with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea, followed by supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that wraps up the paragraph's main point.
coherence cohesion
Make use of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of your essay. Common examples include 'furthermore,' 'however,' 'for instance,' and 'in conclusion.'
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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