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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
The diagram illustrates the consequence of
a
Change the article
an
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 overview of
individuals’s
Change the noun form
individuals
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 who have the routine
Correct your spelling
consuming
Change preposition
of comsuming
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comsuming
Correct your spelling
consuming
 tea and
Correct your spelling
coffee
cofffee
Correct your spelling
coffee
 in five
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
 regions
such
Linking Words
 as
Sydney
Use synonyms
,
Melboume
Correct your spelling
Melbourne
, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart
Overall
Linking Words
, as the graph shows, going to the
coffee
Use synonyms
 was
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 popular activity in most cities, especially in
Sydney
Use synonyms
 and Melbourne.
Instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 in every
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
expect
Correct your spelling
except
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Sydney
Use synonyms
 and Melbourne. Hobart showed relatively high figures across all three categories. In
Sydney
Use synonyms
, the highest percentage of people ( just under 65%) went to
coffee
Use synonyms
,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by those who brought
istant
Correct your spelling
instant
coffee
Use synonyms
(around 45%). Fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 (around 43%) was slightly more popular than
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 ( just over 45%). In Melbourne, the trend is similar with
coffee
Use synonyms
-goers at nearly 64%, fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 higher than
instant
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. In Brisbane, fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 was the most popular (just over 52%) . the number of
coffee
Use synonyms
 visits and
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 were nearly equal. In Adelaide,
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 led (around 50%),
while
Linking Words
coffee
Use synonyms
 visits and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 were lower and close in percentage. In Hobart,
all
Change preposition
in all
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 three categories, there
were
Change the verb form
was
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 a very significant difference including
coffee
Use synonyms
 visits
will
Verb problem
apply
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ranked highest( above 60%).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sydney, coffee, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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