IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people’s #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
The bar chart illustrates the consequence of
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
examine
Replace the word
examination
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
coffee
 and tea buying and drinking customs in 5 cities in Australia namely
Sydney
, Melbourne,
Brisbane
, Adelaide and Hobart As the graph shows, the percentages of buying and drinking
coffee
 and tea
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a steady increase with some fluctuation. The number of fresh
coffee
 which was bought in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks in
Brisbane
lowest
Add a missing verb
was lowest
show examples
while
Sydney
 highest. In terms of
Bought
Wrong verb form
Buying
show examples
 fresh
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks, there was a significant variation. In
Sydney
Add a comma
Sydney,
show examples
 it is around 44% and Melbourne
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 lower than
Sydney
 about 2% is 42%.
This
 number
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
 to decrease from 42% to 34% in
Brisbane
. Adelaide has approximately the same percentage as
Brisbane
. In
Hobart
Add a comma
Hobart,
show examples
 it has a slight higher about 38%. To say about Bought instant
coffee
 in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4 weeks, it has over 45% in
Sydney
 and higher in Melbourne is 48%.
This
 number
also
 rise to 53% in
Brisbane
.
Then
, have a slow fall from 53 in
Brisbane
 to 50% in Adelaide. And in Hobart it climb to 54%. Regarding the data of
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, sydney, brisbane with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: