Some people think that sports teach children how to compete. Others feel that children can learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports #children #team #work

It is

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

maintained

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

that

children

could learn

competition

ethics from

sports

while

others think that

sports

help them improve their

team working

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

skills. In my opinion, I believe

sports

will give the opportunity to teach

children

how to have a fair

competition

. On one hand, challenges

such

as tournaments will introduce the ethics and rights of

competition

, and I agree.

In other words

Change preposition

apply

show examples

having rules for every

competition

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will make sure that the

children

will learn how to be responsible for their actions and decisions. If,

for example

, during a football

competition

one of the players cheated, they will be expelled from the game.

Thus

, they won’t only learn that they have to stick to the rules, but

also

they will learn that there isn’t any bad

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

without

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

consequence and punishment.

On the other hand

, others believe that

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

activities will scale up their teamwork skills. Specifically, in group

sports

like football or basketball where they need to collaborate with each other to succeed and the game.

Change preposition

For

show examples

instance, a basketball

team

could put a plan

a head

Correct your spelling

ahead

show examples

how

Change preposition

of how

show examples

they will play during the game and divide the roles between each other in

way

Add an article

a way

show examples

that

benefit

Correct subject-verb agreement

benefits

show examples

the entire

team

Thus

in addition

to learning how to work within a

team

, they will learn how to put themselves into each other’s point of view to make sure that will come up with

best

Correct article usage

the best

show examples

results for all members.

To sum up

while

people may vary in their opinions, I’m confident that

sports

is one of the best ways to make sure that

children

know how to compete fairly.

Submitted by s_syedy on Sat Mar 09 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve your score in task achievement, explicitly address all parts of the task. You discussed both views and gave your opinion, which is great. To enhance this further, ensure you develop each point with more in-depth analysis and detailed examples. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.

Coherence and Cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, creating a clearer logical structure will greatly benefit your essay. This includes ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within that paragraph directly support that idea. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.

Coherence and Cohesion

Include a conclusion that restates your main points and your opinion in a summarized form. While you offered a conclusion, make it more impactful by clearly reinforcing your stance and summarizing the key reasons behind your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that sports teach children how to compete. Others feel that children can learn team work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Some people think that exercise is the key to health, while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The best way to make road transport safe is to require drivers to take a driving test every year. How much do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?