Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinio
Although
it is sometimes thought that Linking Words
children
ought to do extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
after school,other people believe that Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
activities
can put Use synonyms
children
under pressure. In my opinion, I consider that extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
may put Use synonyms
children
under stress.
On the one hand, some people think that Use synonyms
children
who do extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
can gain several benefits that can help them greatly in their lives, and I agree. Use synonyms
In other words
, doing more curricular Linking Words
activities
after school, namely, sports, can be beneficial for Use synonyms
students
, especially in terms of their health. If overweight Use synonyms
children
, Use synonyms
for example
, are encouraged to play sports after school hours, they can burn their calories quickly and be in shape. Linking Words
As a result
, they can perform well academically because they will not face any serious illnesses. Linking Words
Furthermore
,unlike extracurricular Linking Words
activities
,academic subjects do not teach Use synonyms
students
skills and teamwork. Use synonyms
Therefore
,Linking Words
students
have more opportunity to develop their social life skills.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
,it is often believed that extracurricular Linking Words
activities
can put Use synonyms
students
under pressure. One reason is that some Use synonyms
students
pay more attention to academic subjects than extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
because they are not interested in any curricular Use synonyms
activities
. They prefer to spend an hour revising their lesson rather than doing sports, which sometimes causes them to be exhausted and not be able to concentrate on their studies. Use synonyms
For instance
,some Linking Words
students
try to study science and medicine, so for them, doing extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
is pointless. Another Use synonyms
reson
is that forcing extracurricular Correct your spelling
reason
activities
does not promote independence or autonomy. Use synonyms
That is
to say, Linking Words
children
should be given the freedom to choose the activity that they like.
Use synonyms
To sum up
,Linking Words
while
people may vary in their opinions, I think that Linking Words
children
stand a better chance of staying healthy and improving their social skills if they are encouraged to take part in extracurricular Use synonyms
activities
.Use synonyms
Submitted by s_syedy on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Consistency
Ensure that your opinion is consistent throughout the essay. Your conclusion seems to contradict the stance you seem to support in the body paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of connectives and topic sentences to introduce your paragraphs, enhancing the logical flow of ideas.
Example
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your task response and make your essay more persuasive.
Argument Structure
Work on developing a clearer argument structure within each body paragraph. Start with a topic sentence, follow with explanation or analysis, and conclude with a specific example.
Task Response
To improve task achievement, make sure your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Discuss both views and then clearly give your own opinion.