IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main result of environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important result on environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #loss #species #plants #animals
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It is often argued that the extinction of some
grenary
Correct your spelling
greenery
granary
 and creatures is the major concern of damage to the environment,
while
 others believe that the impact is more on other areas.
This
 essay will intend views from both sides and argue in the favour of latter. On the one hand, some species require a healthy atmosphere to survive on the earth. But because of the harmful impact on nature most of the special plants and animals are not able to cope, which results in dying out from inhabitant.
Moreover
, the ecosystem plays an important role for some species. Environmental issues destroy the ecological balance, which is another reason for disappearance.
For instance
, because of dumping industrial waste into the sea, we can hardly find the existence of whales.
On the other hand
, global warming has become a major concern throughout the world, which is becoming more and more complicated because of our brutal behaviour on the planet.
Also
, air pollution is another common phenomenon in
present
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the present
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 world, which is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 great example of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of consciousness of nature. Air Pollution damages the ozone sphere, which causes the greenhouse effect.
For instance
, the ice on the north and south
pole
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poles
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 is melting because of
temperature
Correct article usage
the temperature
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raise
Correct your spelling
rise
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, which will
flooded
Wrong verb form
flood
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country
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countries
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 like Maldives. In my opinion, losing some species is one of the many problems of the environment.
Therefore
, others hold more bad
effect
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effects
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 than
extinction
Add an article
the extinction
show examples
 of some plants and animals. In conclusion, only concentrating on one part will not bring good results.
However
, I believe that
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
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impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
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 on the environment are the worst.
Submitted by mokaddamul on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in the Task Achievement category, ensure that you directly address the prompt by discussing both viewpoints comprehensively and presenting your own opinion with more clear justification. Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim to organize your essay with a more logical flow of ideas. Use a variety of linking words to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, proofreading for minor errors can enhance the clarity of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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