Television Sporting shows such as the Olympics motivatethe youth who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree? Include relevant examples in your answer and provide your own opinion.
It is irrefutable
sports
play an integral role Correct word choice
that sports
to boost
our physical energy. Gameing programs on social media are the most striking and intriguing source of encouraging young Change preposition
in boosting
nation
who Fix the agreement mistake
nations
is
lethargic, and unwilling to do any physical Correct subject-verb agreement
are
exercisions
. One of the Correct your spelling
exercises
exercising
stand out
Add a hyphen
stand-out
is
examples is Olymics T.V. shows. I Unnecessary verb
apply
am vehemently go
with Change the verb form
am vehemently going
this
notion, and pertinant
details with prominent examples are Correct your spelling
pertinent
excalating
Correct your spelling
escalating
excavating
further
in essay
.
There Add an article
the essay
is
innumerable profound impacts of sporting shows on our Change the verb form
are
youngesters
, who are too indulged with technology even though do not have time to Correct your spelling
youngsters
listen
their parents. Physical game shows foster the need and importance of Add the preposition
listen to
pysical
Correct your spelling
physical
excercises
to become active, fit and agile. To be more precise, these Correct your spelling
exercises
programms
build up Correct your spelling
programmes
programs
the
new schemas regarding health among young people. From my social Correct article usage
apply
circle
one example of my friend's son Add a comma
circle,
hits
my mind as Wrong verb form
hit
ones
I met with him he was wearing the complete kit for his football match, he was only under eighteen and, was fully occupied in his rehearsal match with his friends in a playground. when I had Correct your spelling
once
Correct article usage
a convesation
convesation
with him he said I Correct your spelling
conversation
conversations
want
to play like a Wrong verb form
wanted
well- renowned
football player Cristiano Ronald. He is my mentor. I Correct your spelling
well-renowned
want
to look Wrong verb form
wanted
same
Correct article usage
the same
like
him as he Change preposition
as
had
Wrong verb form
has
muscular
and flexible body. Add an article
a muscular
the muscular
Whole
the ways he was under his influence. He had Correct your spelling
While
cought
Correct your spelling
caught
this
courage from T.V. after watching his all matches. Hence
, sporting shows on social media have significant effacts
on our young population as they Correct your spelling
effects
keen
to Add a missing verb
are keen
imitiate
their role models.
Correct your spelling
imitate
initiate
Moreover
, even young girls try to do some olymics traing
at home to be fit and to have Correct your spelling
Olympic training
smart
body structure same Correct article usage
a smart
like
Change preposition
as
olymics
players. Correct your spelling
Olympic
However
, today's young generation is intended to spend their
most of Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
time in their Change the word
their
comfor
zone, they do not want to come out Correct your spelling
comfort
from
it, but after developing Change preposition
of
Correct article usage
an interset
interset
in any single support they will have Correct your spelling
interest
aoutomatically
thought to go out to play that game. Correct your spelling
automatically
Consequently
, they will be able to do some how
Correct your spelling
somehow
phsical
Correct your spelling
physical
excercise
which is great for their health.
Correct your spelling
exercise
To conclude
, it is undeniable sporting shows have vital
role in enduring insight about physical exercise among young Add an article
a vital
nation
, which is necessary for them. I personally believe that Fix the agreement mistake
nations
government
should promote Correct article usage
the government
such
programs at any cost to make our youth energetic, productive and social. I am personly in this
favour and promote it as well.Submitted by amnamunir764 on
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General
Focus on clarity and precision in your writing. Avoid overly complex sentences if they make the message unclear.
Grammar/Spelling
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and grammatical errors, like 'gameing' (gaming), 'excersions' (exercises), 'youngsters' (youngsters), and 'imitate' (imitate).
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure your paragraphs clearly with one main idea per paragraph, supported by specific examples. Transition words can help guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
Despite the typos and some awkward phrasing, you have addressed the task well by providing relevant examples and clearly stating your opinion.
Examples/Support
Use examples effectively by discussing them in greater detail to illustrate your points more vividly. Your example of a youth inspired by Cristiano Ronaldo is a good start, but further elucidation could strengthen your argument.
Writing Style
Work on making your writing more concise and structured. Eliminate redundancy and make sure each sentence contributes to your argument or describes your example clearly and effectively.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.