write one or two sentences! Do you think young people are more or less fit than 50 years ago? (why/why not?)

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in my point of view nowadays
intant
Correct your spelling
instant
intent
foods are really
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
so that young people would consume
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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more,
also
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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and many social media made the community only sit and playing their
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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, without doing anything so that they will be easier to get sick.
on the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
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50 years ago young people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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usually
consume
Wrong verb form
consumed
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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raw food and
less
Add a missing verb
do less
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of
Correct article usage
a prosess
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prosess
Correct your spelling
process
and
Wrong verb form
did
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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their job outside more than
todays
Correct your spelling
today
, they do not have a phone.
Submitted by laelanisfi15 on

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Task Achievement
Begin with a clear introduction stating your overall opinion. This could include briefly mentioning the main reasons for your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Make sure to provide a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your overall opinion. This helps to round off your argument and remind the reader of your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs. Consider using one paragraph for your views on the present situation, another for the past, and possibly a separate introduction and conclusion.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This could include statistics, studies, or personal observations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Check your essay for any grammar or spelling mistakes to improve readability and the overall impression of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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