The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Improving
people
's
life
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lives
show examples
should be the main goal of
science
.In my opinion,
i
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I
show examples
agree that
science
plays a major role in improving
peoples
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people's
show examples
health and lifestyle.
Science
and technology
hepls
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help
people
in different ways from finding new drugs for complicated diseases to finding new devices to make
people
's
life
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lives
show examples
easy.
Science
has created a major impact on
peoples
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people's
show examples
life
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lives
show examples
.
In
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At
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the
begining
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beginning
of the
century
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century,
show examples
people
were not aware
about
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of
show examples
certain diseases and how they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
be treated. In the following
years
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years,
show examples
many
scientist
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scientists
show examples
with their knowledge found new drugs and medicine to treat the diseases.
For instance
, back in
Correct article usage
the 1990's
show examples
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1990
show examples
1990's
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1990's,
show examples
there was no cure for breast cancer but in the following years in the 21st century scientists and doctors have found
appropriated
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appropriate
show examples
treatment for breast cancer by inducing chemotherapy and performing mastectomy in
this
case the patient can live a normal
life
.
Science
has
also
made
peope
Correct your spelling
people
life
easy
by
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with
show examples
the upcoming technology.
For example
, the invention of cleaning robots has significantly made
people
's
life
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lives
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easier
also
the invention of artificial
intelligences
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intelligence
bits of intelligence
show examples
which is used by
people
nowadays as a major application.It makes
people
's work easier
therefore
people
do not need to work for long hours
although
science
has many different types of advantages it
also
has disadvantages.
For instance
, improving in demand
of
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for
show examples
artifical
Correct your spelling
artificial
intelligence can decrease the need
of
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for
show examples
manpower which leads to unemployment and reduced
salary
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salaries
show examples
for certain jobs that can be done by
a.i
Correct your spelling
AI
.
This
makes
peoples
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people's
show examples
life
more difficult. In conclusion,
science
plays a major role in
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
by improving their health
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
the discovery of new drugs and surgeries and it
also
makes
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
easier
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
invention
Add an article
the invention
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of certain gadgets
although
it has certain advantages it
also
has disadvantages like unemployment.
Submitted by m.keerthanah on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and organized structure throughout your essay by using distinct paragraphs with clear ideas, developing a logical flow from introduction through body paragraphs to conclusion. This helps in enhancing both coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your position on the topic and summarize your main arguments clearly and succinctly. Ensure both of these sections are clearly discernible and effectively encapsulate your essay’s main points and stance.
task achievement
To strengthen your task achievement, include more varied and specific examples to support each of your main points. Aim to deepen your analysis and demonstrate a more comprehensive understanding of how science impacts people’s lives.
task achievement
Revisit the prompt after writing your essay to ensure you have fully addressed the question. Your response should be comprehensive, addressing all components of the task directly and demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.
general
Ensure your essay is proofread for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. Improving the accuracy of your language will better communicate your ideas and enhance the overall quality of your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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