IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the number of students that read books for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years.What are the reasons and how can we encourage children to read more?

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In
a
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apply
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modern society, reading
books
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 has
falled
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fallen
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 dramatically, especially in
young
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the young
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 generation, they tend to like other cutting-edge devices. Some people think it comes from many reasons.
Therefore
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, we should encourage
children
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 to read
books
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 in many different ways.
To begin
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 with, we can see in today's world
children
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more
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have more
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 and more up-to-date devices so
childrens
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children
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 have many choices to play so
this
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 causes reading
books
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 have no longer
attracts
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attract
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 students like before.
Instead
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 of opening a book, they just need to hold a mobile device in their hand to play the game.
In addition
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, the increased academic pressure makes them have less time to read.
For example
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, if their teachers give them too much homework, they must maximum use of their time for homework and no more time for
readings
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reading
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.
Furthermore
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, the parents
also
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 have a great impact on
children
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's reading habits. There are some solutions to solve
this
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 problem,
such
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 as we can promote reading through interactive and
engage
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engaging
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 activities like book clubs or reading challenges.
In addition
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, we
also
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 can
inncorporate
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incorporate
 modern and diverse book selections that reflect
children
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's interests and realities. We can use diverse resources
such
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 as
:
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 ebooks or audiobooks.
Furthermore
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, it is very important to create a reading environment like
well-equipped
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a well-equipped
the well-equipped
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 library in school. In conclusion,
while
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 there are many reasons make today's
children
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 become less likely to read
books
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, we still find some solutions to encourage youngsters. Reading
books
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bring
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brings
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 us many benefits so hoping that young generations will continue to promote

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each section should serve a distinct purpose, with the introduction presenting the topic and your stance, the body elaborating on your arguments, and the conclusion summarizing your points and restating your position. Your conclusion could be more detailed and reiterate the main points more explicitly for a stronger closure.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on organizing your essay more logically. Use clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to outline the main idea. Following up with explanations and examples strengthens your argument. Consider using linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
To fully respond to the task, make sure you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Your essay should not only identify the reasons behind the decline in book reading but also propose and elaborate on effective strategies to encourage children to read more. Each point you make should be supported with specific examples or data where possible.
Task Achievement
Elaborating on your ideas with more detail and specific examples can strengthen your argument and make your stance clearer. Try to include statistics, studies, or hypothetical scenarios that directly support your points and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dramatically
  • leisure reading
  • digital distractions
  • reduced attention span
  • academic pressure
  • exposure
  • digital learning resources
  • interactive activities
  • diverse book selections
  • ebooks and audiobooks
  • reading preferences
  • role models
  • conducive
  • well-equipped
  • underprivileged communities
  • mobile libraries
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