IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some governments spend a lot of money on exploring space, some feel that this investment is justified while others think that money should be spent on public services like healthcare and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is often argued that some governments allot a lot of their budgets to
Use synonyms
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 exploration field,
instead
Linking Words
, they should spend
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 on public services.
Space
Use synonyms
 study is vital these days to keep the
Earth
Use synonyms
 safe and find another habitable planet,
while
Linking Words
 basic public necessities,
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare and
education
Use synonyms
 should be met first. It is believed that there are trillions of stars and planets within our universe. Many
commets
Correct your spelling
comments
comets
 and asteroids pass through the surroundings of
Earth
Use synonyms
. To protect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 on
Earth
Use synonyms
, spending huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
 on
spacecrafts
Correct your spelling
spacecraft
 and scientists is vital because we may be able to divert the direction of
commets
Correct your spelling
comets
 and/or asteroids. Another reason is to colonise Mars, making it
habitable
Correct article usage
a habitable
show examples
 planet
as well as
Linking Words
 to keep searching for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
life
Use synonyms
 on other planets.
This
Linking Words
 is to protect the human race from being wiped out completely if all the forms of
life
Use synonyms
 on
Earth
Use synonyms
gets
Verb problem
apply
show examples
vanished
Wrong verb form
vanish
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, millions of years ago, dinosaurs
Add a missing verb
were extincted
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extincted
Correct your spelling
extinct
 by
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 massive asteroid that hit the
Earth
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend enough
money
Use synonyms
 to accommodate basic healthcare amenities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all people. Optimal numbers of hospitals and clinics should be constructed to cure our own people's diseases first.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they should spend more
money
Use synonyms
 on
education
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, ensuring that all citizens are able to achieve basic
education
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the availabilities
show examples
availabilities
Fix the agreement mistake
availability
show examples
 of enough schools and colleges
open
Wrong verb form
opens
show examples
 avenues for everyone to get enrolled and study different areas of
life
Use synonyms
. In my view, I believe that before going to
space
Use synonyms
 exploration,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should ensure that
education
Use synonyms
 and basic health facilities are accessible to everyone so that more scientists and experts can be seen.
Moreover
Linking Words
, spending
money
Use synonyms
 on incurable diseases is imperative to conduct research and find vaccines. In conclusion, spending more
money
Use synonyms
 on
space
Use synonyms
 exploration protects us from being hit by asteroids or
commets
Correct your spelling
comets
comments
 and
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
 us to experience
life
Use synonyms
 on
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 planets,
while
Linking Words
 spending on public necessities serves the purpose of humanity as everyone gets basic healthcare and
education
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, which ultimately
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 more experts in the field of science.
Thus
Linking Words
, I think we should serve our people first before moving into
space
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your stance, providing a roadmap for the reader of what to expect in your essay. The conclusion should effectively summarize your key points and restate your opinion.
Task Achievement
Increase the clarity and impact of your ideas by selecting more specific examples. While general examples are used effectively, incorporating concrete data or case studies can make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to your essay's logical flow. While the essay has a good structure, transitions between paragraphs can be improved to ensure a smoother reading experience. Use transitional phrases to guide the reader through your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of repetition in your points. Try to diversify your examples and arguments to cover a broader range of perspectives related to your topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • potential solutions
  • climate monitoring
  • disaster prediction
  • satellite communication
  • fostering international cooperation
  • improving the quality of life
  • reducing poverty
  • addressing immediate societal needs
  • allocating funds
  • advancements in space technology
  • long-term benefits
  • robust public services
  • partnerships with private companies
  • cost-sharing
  • preparing for future challenges
  • resource scarcity
  • present-day issues
  • affects daily life directly
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