Recent surveys show increased interest in relocation and travel to other countries. What may be the reasons for this trend, and what will be the possible outcome from this behaviour? Provide examples for your opinion.
Surveys found recently there is an upsurge of
people
relocating and travelling to other nations. This
statement is the hype phenomenon in today's era and this
brings good outcomes for the countries they visit. I will define the reasons why this
happens along with
the benefit
in the following essay.
Currently, we realise that we are living in Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
the
dynamic period of time, Correct article usage
a
this
is because of the effect of the development technology
Change preposition
of technology
while
people
can find their
desire of their dream living environment by seeing what country they fit in. Change the pronoun
the
For example
, there were many people
from the big city have
moved to the countryside for slow living and left their crowded neighbourhoods to be quiet ones.
Correct pronoun usage
who have
Additionally
, due to
there being so many
pressure in their jobs Correct quantifier usage
much
also
many people
are aware of their mental health, as a result
, they tend to relax their bodies and soul by travelling to nature or to places which make them feel rechargeable. For instance
, data shows last
5 years, there have been numerous tourists coming to Maldives to travelling. This
not only provides beneficial
for a traveller but Replace the word
benefits
also
can increase the economy of the country from the expenses of the travellers.
In conclusion, relocation and travel to other countries have a good impact on the countries however
the government should maintenance
Replace the word
maintain
this
trend for their better income for the country.Submitted by NIPEACENE on
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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure, but there could be better connections and transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance flow. Try using linking words such as 'however', 'moreover', and 'therefore' more effectively.
coherence cohesion
While an introduction and conclusion are present, enhancing their impact by clearly stating your main argument in the introduction and summarizing key points in the conclusion will strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but incorporating a wider range of examples and evidence will provide a stronger base for your arguments. Diversify your examples to include statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes where appropriate.
task achievement
You have responded to the task with relevant ideas and examples. For a higher score, ensure your response comprehensively covers all parts of the prompt. Discussing the possible outcomes in more detail could improve your essay.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear but could be further elaborated. Expanding on your points with more detailed explanations and reasoning will make your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Using specific examples is good, but aim for more detail and relevance to your main argument. Examples that directly relate to the reasons for relocation and travel and their outcomes will be more impactful.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
