IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You're visiting a town where you once worked. Write to a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: Tell your friend about your life now Give him/her details of your visit Arrange how you can meet.

#re #town #friend #life #visit
Dear Shokh Hope you are doing fine. I am writing
this
 letter to share some great news with you. I am visiting a town where we worked together 5 years ago. So, now I would like to talk about my current life. After finishing
the
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apply
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university I got a well-paid job at
Toshkent
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Tashkent
. I am working as a manager of a big company and now I am on holiday. And, that's why I decided to visit
a
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Mubarek
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Mubarak
. I am on holiday for a week and I am planning to go to beautiful places in
Mubarek
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Mubarak
 again. So, I will be there on March 30. I hope we will spend time together happily. We can arrange breakfast with you in the "DIYDOR" restaurant where we
worked
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work
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 together. So, it would be the best time to talk with you about our lives and remember the best memories of a time when you and I worked at "DIYDOR". I am so
exited
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excited
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 to see you again my friend ! Yours sincerely Pulat
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider adding more sophisticated linking words or phrases to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs and within them. While the letter is structured well, the use of more varied connectors could enhance coherence.
task achievement
To flesh out the details of your life now and the visit more vividly, consider adding more descriptive elements or anecdotes that highlight your experiences or expectations. This can make the letter more engaging and achieve a higher level of task response.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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