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Band 7

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pace #stress #life #effect #families
There is currently a contentious argument over whether family life is being harmed by the high speed and pressure of contemporary lifestyles. I totally agree with
this
 opinion because the fast pace leads to less
time
 for
families
 to be together, and stress leech to arguments among family members The main justification for my belief that family life is being compromised is
families
 have less
time
 to be with each other. The underlying reason is family members being busier at work and with their social lives.
As well as
this
, people have many things they have to do these days
such
 as checking e-mail and updating their online social stress, so less
time
 is left for family fe To illustrate spend about two hours online every night attending daily correspondence before chatting with my family members,
whereas
 ten years ago I would spend
time
 with my family as soon as I walked in the door. Another reason why I think that
families
 are being imparted negatively is that the pressure of lite these days means that even when two miles do get together arguments are more likely.
This
 causes everyone to the tree and they are more likely to get irritated and react to their heightened emotion levels. In conclusion, I am in complete agreement that the rapid pace and stressful nature of contemporary styles are having negative consequences on family relationships.
This
 is because people meeters have
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
time
, and when they are together, they
feeless
Verb problem
feel
show examples
 relaxed
Therefore
, it is important for
families
 to take regular vacations together to strengthen their bonds.
Submitted by mizuho on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position. You've done well in signaling your agreement from the outset and concluding with a recommendation, but make sure your thesis statement is as strong and clear as possible.
task achievement
Work on further developing your ideas by expanding on them with more detailed explanations and examples. While you've included personal examples, integrating a wider range of evidence could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by linking your ideas more smoothly. Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs, making your argument flow more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the accuracy and variety of your language use. Avoid repetitive phrases and consider using synonyms or paraphrasing to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. This will also help in mitigating any unintended ambiguity caused by unclear expressions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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