Many people are optimistic of the 21st century and see it as an opportunity to make positive changes to the world.To what extent do you agree or disagree?what changes you like to see in this century?
The
world
we live in and have created has many injustices, war
and Fix the agreement mistake
wars
problems
. During the past decades, people
have struggled with everything from starvation, corruption
and diseases. Many Change preposition
to corruption
people
have hope that the 21st century will change these events and contribute with
positive happenings Change preposition
to
such
as working towards world
peace and a more friendly society. Others believe that this
new era will continue to create problems
and conflicts as we humans and our world
leaders are increasingly at odds with each other and are more likely to join war rather than prohibit them. I see myself as an optimist and agree with the first opinion, that we are going towards a brighter future, but have to admit that we had a rough start of
the 21st century.
To start with, during the Change preposition
in
last
Correct quantifier usage
few years
years
we have met all sorts of issues, including everything from economic crises, environmental disasters, war, and diseases and epidemics Add a comma
years,
such
as the Covid-19 virus. For instance
, one of humans
biggest Change noun form
humans'
human's
problems
right now is global warming and the increasing rate of oil and carbon emissions that contributes
to a higher temperature. Since all nations have disparate opinions on how to tackle these issues, results in nothing happening and small improvements. Change the verb form
contribute
This
has led to many people
losing faith in our future.
But on the other hand
, with new technology
we can come up with innovative ideas on how to solve these Add a comma
technology,
world
issues. Since we are so aware of these problems
, we can work together and find solutions. World
leaders need to encourage people
to work their hardest towards a more inclusive world
but we can already now see changes. Additionally
, we can see an increased rate of countries joining different world
organizations such
as NATO and EU whose goal is to solve problems
around the world
. Moreover
, tech-companies
which aim Correct your spelling
tech companies
is
to develop and come up with technological advances Unnecessary verb
apply
is
taking a greater place in our corporate Correct subject-verb agreement
are
world
. These are just a few examples to show how the world
slowly but firmly changes in the right directions
.
In conclusion, I believe that the 21st century has hope for humanity and the planet we live on. By working together towards a more friendly and cooperative society where leaders appreciate each other, we can soon see improvements in our living standards and Fix the agreement mistake
direction
world
peace. Nevertheless
, even if changes are made soon, it could take years to see great results.Submitted by clara.m.schafer on
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task achievement
Ensure a balance in argument development, providing equal attention and support to both sides of the argument when discussing contrasting views.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking phrases and cohesive devices to improve the flow between sentences and ideas, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
Develop main points further with more specific examples or evidence, ensuring these are clearly linked back to the question's topic for stronger task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Consider reviewing the structure of paragraphs to ensure there is a clear topic sentence, supporting sentences, and a conclusion or transition sentence for smoother flow and coherence.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.