Some people think that stars do not deserve high salaries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
time and era, superstars are seen on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media all around the world. The modern generation takes
this
as the only source of entertainment. Different groups of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
different perspectives on
this
. A large number of residents
believes
Correct subject-verb agreement
believe
show examples
that
,
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apply
show examples
the high payments given to the actors are unfair to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
while
, others think that, they are paid
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount
of dollars for their
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. I have a balanced
view point
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viewpoint
show examples
.
This
essay will discuss both views.
To begin
with, millions of dollars are spent on the cinema
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
show examples
in order to make good films and extremely high
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities to act in movies and shows.
Although
, the real superstars are the doctors and the teachers.
For example
, a study was conducted between doctors and famous television personalities.
As a result
,
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
care system is not even paid half of the
amount
earned by notable tribes.
However
, the current generation is getting attracted towards these
proffesions
Correct your spelling
professions
in order to earn name,fame and
luxuarious
Correct your spelling
luxurious
life leaving other jobs aside.
This
is
empacting
Correct your spelling
impacting
the country
negetively
Correct your spelling
negatively
. On the other side, the
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
shows that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
community is paid for their
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
. The path in
this
area is not easy to achieve. These people need
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
amount
of money in order to look after their families and daily needs.
However
, they complete their education in
this
field and try hard to act best in movies by staying away from their
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
for months.
For example
,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
study was done on
the
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apply
show examples
famous
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
, the result
revieled
Correct your spelling
revealed
that, these parents can not give time to their
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
at all
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
wfich
Correct your spelling
which
further
causes
Correct article usage
a sensation
show examples
sensation
Correct article usage
a sensation
show examples
of
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
in these
yongsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
.
Moreover
, to attain
such
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fame and name they have to work under strict calory
defficient
Correct your spelling
efficient
diet and lifestyle.
To conclude
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should invest more money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
educational departments rather than
film making
Correct your spelling
filmmaking
show examples
. All the jobs should be provided equally for the work done by them.
Submitted by princyheera on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your score further, focus on developing a clearer and more logical structure within your essay. Try organizing your paragraphs more effectively, ensuring each one centers around a single main idea, which is then elaborated upon with examples and explanations.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, aim to provide more depth and elaboration in your examples. Specific, relevant examples that directly support your argument can vastly improve the effectiveness of your essay. Additionally, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task, offering a balanced discussion and clear personal stance.
coherence cohesion
Watch out for typographical and grammatical errors. While a few errors are understandable, excessive mistakes can distract from your argument and reduce the overall coherence of your essay. Consider reading your essay out loud or using writing tools to catch and correct these errors.

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