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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects.Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and Techology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #history #school #subjects #world #science #techology
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I would argue that school subjects
such
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 as
science
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 and
technology
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 are more important than
history
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, yet I believe that
history
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 holds the same level of importance as
science
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 and
technology
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. Through
history
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, we gain insights into the motivations behind ancient scientific and technological
endeavors
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endeavours
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.
For instance
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, Thomas Edison's invention of the light bulb aimed to replace oil lamps with electric ones, enhancing safety and convenience.
Furthermore
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, the study of
science
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 and
technology
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 is crucial for students as it fosters innovation and experimentation, leading to advancements for a better future. Many modern conveniences,
such
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 as smartphones enabling global communication and access to vast knowledge through the internet, stem from scientific and technological progress. In my view, both
history
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 and
science
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Use synonyms
technology
Correct word choice
and technology
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 merit attention in school curricula. Understanding
history
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 provides context for scientific and technological developments,
while
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 the study of
science
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 and
technology
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 empowers students to contribute to future innovations.
Thus
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, a balanced education encompassing both disciplines is essential for holistic learning and progress.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the views to be discussed and hints at your own stance to provide a roadmap for the reader. Although you've done a good job, making it more explicit could enhance clarity.
Logical Structure
To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Link sentences within paragraphs more explicitly to the main idea, and ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs.
Supported Main Points
Incorporate more specific and varied examples to support your points, particularly when discussing the importance of history and its relation to science and technology.
Conclusion
Wrap your essay with a more definitive conclusion that summarises the discussed points and restates your opinion more firmly. This strengthens your position and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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