IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the best way to find accurate information is to use the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #information #internet
Internet
Add an article
The Internet
show examples
 allows us to acquire information about the topic we are interested in. And not only by searching the topics but
also
makes
Wrong verb form
by making
show examples
 us aware of the events going around us. Nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
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 to use
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 to
books
 to find information. They
even are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not in need to go and see
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous places because the
internet
 allows us to learn and see everything deeply.
This
 essay will discuss why in some exceptional cases the
internet
 can
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 harmful than being informative. As I mentioned before if you have
an
Remove the article
apply
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access to
use
Verb problem
apply
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the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
then
for example
 you would not even
need
Add the particle
need to
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 go and see some
touristic
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tourist
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 places and countries or spend effort to go and meet your acquaintances. Because your
internet
 connection already provides you with calling the
people
 and some informative and explanatory videos of contents you want to learn about. So if
people
 use the
internet
 properly and for beneficial
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can easily increase their knowledge and will not have to look for
books
 and articles to read or study predominantly.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there is not that much big difference between
people
 who
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 and the society that abandoned the
internet
. Sometimes the
internet
 and social media can be very
addicted
Replace the word
addicting
show examples
 and waste our
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
in
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apply
show examples
watching or reading absurd or even harmful things
whereas
 in real life the most needed information is not that hard to find and has a
big
Fix the agreement mistake
wide
show examples
 variety of
books
 that's why the living without the
internet
 doesn't mean that it causes ignorance.
Apparently
Add a comma
Apparently,
show examples
 it has you to read more and reinforce your knowledge or even your personality.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
books
 are often considered to be very fruitful and useful resources
to discover
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for discovering
show examples
 and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 about the world.
People
 find tons of data
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 whether it's useful or not but
books
allows
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allow
show examples
 you to learn about any topic more deeply than the
internet
 does. But
still
Add a comma
still,
show examples
 the usage of the
internet
 outweighs the actual benefits of reading
books
.
This
 essay discussed why in some situations
people
 should prefer
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
 over the
internet
.
Submitted by y2xhnc84j6 on

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Structure and Clarity
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Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect sentences and paragraphs, thereby improving the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Make sure to fully answer the question by providing specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Language Accuracy
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and refine your vocabulary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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