The government's investment in arts, music, and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is believed that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
has been wasting the collected tax
of
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from
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
by spending it on art paintings, music and theatre rather officials should consider community services as their priority to invest
on
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apply
show examples
. I agree to a great extent with the given notion and
this
essay will highlight the backing reasons in support of my viewpoint in the subsequent paragraphs. Diverse points endorse the compelling reasons behind the aforementioned phenomenon. The principal among all is that many impoverished families cannot afford to send their children to
schools
so government can play a significant role in
such
scenarios.
Therefore
, spending on building
the
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apply
show examples
smart
schools
with all modern amenities can help poor children learn and adapt the new technology and in
future
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future,
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these children will serve the nation in all leading fields.
Apart from
this
, even if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
has been working on building
schools
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
still there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
remote areas in which there is no provision of
schools
,
consequently
, students commute 3-4 hours on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis. In these areas, the availability of internet services can save
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
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of hours of school goers to invest
on
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in
show examples
studies as youngsters would be able to take online classes. To consolidate my viewpoint, it is often seen that women complain about public toilets. As public toilets are not properly maintained by the local governing bodies which makes them quite
unhygenic
Correct your spelling
unhygienic
for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
females to use.
Hence
, it becomes the responsibility of higher officials to spend on providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
well-maintained washrooms to the ladies.
However
, the question that arises here is
that
Correct word choice
whether
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should authorities completely ignore the other components
such
as craft, music and drama
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
Certainly not. These elements not only
represents
Correct subject-verb agreement
represent
show examples
the identity of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
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,
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apply
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but
also
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
diversity among different cultures.
For instance
, in India, its traditional folk
punjabi
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Punjabi
show examples
music is being used in numerous
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
songs with the help of remixing.
Thus
, investing in these
form
Fix the agreement mistake
forms
show examples
of
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
is equally important.
To conclude
, it can be inferred that
although
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apply
show examples
different art forms
has
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have
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helped the countries to maintain their traditional identities. Well, I still believe that
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
chunk of public money should be used in building smart
schools
, providing wireless internet to young ones for online mode of
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
along
with
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apply
show examples
renovating the toilets for women to make them stinkless.
Submitted by navkiranji on

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Task Response
To improve task response, ensure that your examples are directly linked to the question prompt and explore both sides of the argument in a balanced way. While your essay leans towards one perspective, adding more about why some might argue for spending on arts would make your response more comprehensive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and help the reader understand the structure of your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clarify the main idea to the reader and make sure that all subsequent sentences in the paragraph directly support that idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • public services
  • economic benefits
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • equitable access
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • prioritize
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • tourism
  • global recognition
  • holistic development
  • mutually exclusive
  • philanthropy
  • subsidize
  • infrastructure
  • socio-economic status
  • altruistic
  • civic engagement
  • aesthetics
  • civic pride
  • utilitarian
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