IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in an European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in an European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
#consumption #fish #kinds #meat #european #country #summarise #information #features
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A glance at a picture depicts the change in fish and several
type
Change to a plural noun
types
show examples
 of meat (chicken,
beef
Use synonyms
, and
lamp
Correct your spelling
lamb
show examples
) consumption specifically in the European country, ranging from 1979 to 2004. In summary, those protein sources
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been through some fluctuations.
However
Linking Words
, the graph saw an upward trend for consumption of chicken,
otherwise
Linking Words
beef
Use synonyms
 and lamb decreased gradually. Unlike the other goods, people who chose fish relatively remained stable. In more detail, chicken started at below 150
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it outreached lamb and
beef
Use synonyms
 in 1980 and 1989 at 149 and above 200 respectively. The trend increased gradually to its peak at 250
grams
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
beef
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 stood
firsly
Correct your spelling
first
 at 220
grams
Use synonyms
 per individual in a week, fluctuated
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 1984, with its lowest and highest at 175 and nearly 250 consecutively. After remaining stable at 240 in the following 5 years, it continued to fall more than 100% in 2004 at only 100.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the utilization of lamb as
protein
Correct article usage
a protein
show examples
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
 accounted for 150. Unfortunately, it
drop
Change the verb form
drops
show examples
 significantly to nearly 50 despite the upward trend in 1987 and 1997 at 125 and 100 respectively.
Lastly
Linking Words
, fish amounted to only 60
grams
Use synonyms
 per person per week
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the first year presented. It hovered at approximately 50% from 1984 to 1999, before going down to 40% in 2004.
Submitted by websiteonlyforme on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words beef, grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • trend
  • poultry
  • beef
  • lamb
  • significant
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • trough
  • plummet
  • soar
  • steady
  • exponential
  • dietary habits
  • health consciousness
  • food industry
  • innovation
  • cultural shift
  • economic conditions
  • demographic changes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: