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Band 3

Some people think that the teenage years are happinest times of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #years #happinest #times #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibilities
It is a debatable issue that
never ending
Add a hyphen
never-ending
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teenage lives are
happiest
Change the article
the happiest
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 time of human life.
While
,
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apply
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 other people opine the mature era is more happiness. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
with
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apply
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the following paragraphs and
in
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apply
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my point of view, I agree with the latter statement. On the one hand, some fellows opine that in the teenage era, they
are
Verb problem
dream
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 dreaming a lot of things which they wish to
be achieved
Wrong verb form
achieve
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and
Correct word choice
which
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them overthink and stressful of it. For example, we see many young people feeling burnout easily because not being happy and they do not see the beautiful side of their lives.
Furthermore
, at
this
 age they can not think wisely in every situation
hence
 it causes them frustrated.
On the other hand
, adult life brings more happiness
while
 carrying many duties as they can
finally
 find themself calmly and view any situation by feeling happy.
This
 is
incured
Correct your spelling
incurred
 from their past experiences
,
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apply
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 when they have faced and fought all the emotions during
teenage
Correct pronoun usage
their teenage
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 lives.
For example
, they want to have children to gather their happiness in the family they created. In conclusion, I believe that the more mature we are the more wisely we become.
Therefore
, becoming an adult makes us
more
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apply
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happier than our teenage life.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly and fully addresses the question asked. You've touched upon both views but need to deepen your discussion on why some believe teenage years are the happiest.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed and varied examples to support your points. The examples used were quite general. Specific, relatable examples will strengthen your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer logical structure. Consider using more explicit signposting phrases like 'Firstly,' 'However,' to guide your reader through your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure every paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. This will enhance the cohesion of your text.
Coherence & Cohesion
Revise your introduction and conclusion to make sure they clearly state your opinion and summarize the main points of your argument, respectively. This will enhance the presence and clarity of your essay's beginning and end.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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