IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The best way to solve traffic and transportation problems is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 254 words

#minutes #traffic #transportation #people #cities #suburbs #countryside
One school of thought holds that persuading citizens to stay in
cities'
Change noun form
cities
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 areas
instead
 of the countryside is the best sufficient method to eliminate traffic and transportation issues.
While
 I accept that perception is somewhat justified, I believe that there are other factors that authorities should consider. On the one hand, it is understandable why people are advised to live in the city
center
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centre
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 rather than other places. First and foremost,
by
Change preposition
apply
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living in a metropolis,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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might diminish
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic congestion.
For example
, the local people easily walk or cycle to their daily destinations nearby,
such
 as schools, supermarkets, or workplaces, thereby reducing the number of cars on the streets
as well as
 decreasing the possibility of accidents.
Furthermore
, urban living could encourage the development of public transit.
This
 is because, an increasing of residents means that buses or subways are introduced to serve them, which could not only lower the cost of travelling but
also
 decrease the amount of released fumes into the air that results in many serious respiratory issues
such
 as lung cancer.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why governing bodies should be aware of urban residing promotion. One rationale is that
this
 opinion could exacerbate existing issues in cities. In fact,
by
Change preposition
apply
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settling in town,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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leads to overcrowding and pollution, which could put a heavy burden on traffic infrastructure when they can not afford the huge travel demands of various commuters. Another justification is that metropolis
dwellers
Change noun form
dwellers'
dweller's
show examples
 motivation might cause negative effects.
For instance
, the enormous cost incurred by extending roads or establishing more public transportation would put a strain on government coffers, thereby leading to budget deficits, tax hikes, or reduced social welfare.
As a result
, ordinary citizens, especially the underprivileged, would struggle more to make ends meet. In conclusion,
while
 it is irrefutable that encouraging people
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban areas could solve the
transportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 problems, I would contend that authorities should take its drawbacks into consideration.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

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Task achievement
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, full development of ideas, and a conclusion that restates your position. Your introduction should more clearly state your viewpoint.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This includes using words or phrases that show contrast, addition, cause and effect, and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop each paragraph fully with clear topic sentences, followed by explanations, examples, and a concluding sentence. Stick to one main idea per paragraph and make sure it is fully explored.
Task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. These examples add depth and clarity, making your essay more convincing.
General
Double-check your essay for any grammatical errors or typos to ensure clarity and professionalism in your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • commuting times
  • public transportation
  • reliance
  • feasible
  • exacerbate
  • overcrowding
  • urbanization
  • sustainable urban planning
  • recreational areas
  • technological innovations
  • smart traffic management systems
What to do next:
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