Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work fro differnet organisations.Discuss bith the views and give your own opinion.
It is undeniable
the
employees have long-term trends working at the same Correct your spelling
that
company
. However
, Some people
argue it is better when working with a different company
. In this
essay, I will explain the pros and drawbacks of working same organisation and changing organisation
and I believe that working in different organisations is better for career path Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
growing
.
Replace the word
growth
To begin
with, the major reasons for people
to work with the same organizations for a long time. Firstly
the employee
have
comfort when working in the same environment. Change the verb form
has
Such
as the
Correct article usage
apply
colleague
and Fix the agreement mistake
colleagues
same
working atmosphere. Some Correct article usage
the same
people
's opinions are apparent if working with same organisations have more opportunity for promote to leaders position. Lastly
, the long term working may offer additonal
incentives for Correct your spelling
additional
employee
, who have loyalty. Fix the agreement mistake
employees
For instance
, They would recieve
bonuses and extra money from Correct your spelling
receive
company
.
Add an article
the company
In contrast
, some people
suggest to work
with various Change the verb form
working
company
, they would make more money and give new opportunities. Fix the agreement mistake
companies
For example
, Nowadays many people
decided to change their jobs
for raised
Change preposition
to raise
thier
salary and Correct your spelling
their
improve
their skills with new Fix the infinitive
to improve
jobs
experiences. One of the best Change the noun form
job
opportunity
for Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
change
their Wrong verb form
changing
jobs
are
making new connections with Correct subject-verb agreement
is
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
people
in new jobs
. In addition
, when they wanna changing their jobs
, they would improve their english
qualification score Change the capitalization
English
for
apply Change preposition
to
to
new Change preposition
for
jobs
. Thus
their English communication skills will be enhance
too.Change the verb form
be enhanced
This
has made him incredibly knowledgeable in a range of related fields and, in my view, has provided him with a much more interesting working life.
To conclude
, Although
there are benefits to working for one system, it is also
valuable for an employee
to be able to offer a wide range of experience having worked for different companies. If it is planned carefully, change is good and will ultimately benefit the employee
and the employer.Submitted by kungslowjam on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a logical structure but could improve in terms of clear paragraphing and transitions between ideas. Consider using more linking phrases and topic sentences that directly relate to the essay's main points for a smoother flow of information.
Task Response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. Throughout the essay, directly address the task given by discussing both sides of the argument and your own opinion more distinctly to meet the task requirements fully.
Coherence and Cohesion
To raise the coherence and cohesion score, focus on creating more cohesive paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting sentences that expand on that idea coherently. Usage of cohesive devices (e.g., furthermore, however, for instance) should be varied and accurately applied to demonstrate seamless progression of ideas.
Task Response
Expanding on your examples with more detailed and relevant instances can help improve task achievement. Showing how these examples support your arguments or position can make your response more convincing and comprehensive.
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