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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the pattern of tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumption by Australians in the five different
cities
Use synonyms
 of
this
Linking Words
 country, in
percentage
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that most people went to
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops to buy these drinks in the
last
Linking Words
 four weeks in all the
cities
Use synonyms
, except the ones living in Adelaide who are mostly into buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
. With a comparison between these places, individuals living in Melbourn have the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of going to cafes in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks with 64% of all,
however
Linking Words
, the data in Horbat and Sydney are so close to the number in Melbourn.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Horbat has the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 consumption, as more than half of the society has been a fan of these kinds of
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 month. Adelaidians,
therefore
Linking Words
, have the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
overall
Linking Words
 for having hot drinks including tea and
coffee
Use synonyms
 with only half of the notion buying
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
. Buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 month,
however
Linking Words
, consists of the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in all of these five Australian
cities
Use synonyms
, with the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 belonging to Sydney with less than 45%.
To conclude
Linking Words
, Australians in the five
cities
Use synonyms
 mentioned are more likely to go to cafes
instead
Linking Words
 of having either fresh or
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vaniaa.z.h2005 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, last, overall".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, cities, percentage, instant with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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