The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.

  Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,  and make comparisons where relevent.
The
two floor
Add a hyphen
two-floor
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sketch diagrams illustrate some information about the community library in the past two decades and the current plan. In overview, these two sketches
showing
Wrong verb form
show
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a great change and
comparing
Verb problem
comparison that
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occurred during a period of twenty years. To start with, many alters were experienced in the library, since fiction changed into infants' books.
Furthermore
, tables were small
in making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
but it
changes
Wrong verb form
changed
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when they joined 2 smaller
Correct pronoun usage
ones into
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into
Correct pronoun usage
ones into
show examples
one bigger which means eight pieces make four large.
Moreover
,
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
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and librarian's seating position remained
at
Change preposition
in
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the same place
as well as
staircases
Correct article usage
the staircases
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.
In addition
, children's
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
created
Add a missing verb
were created
show examples
,
however
, newspapers and periodicals
altered
Add a missing verb
were altered
show examples
into films and DVDs.
Therefore
,
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
show examples
and history become smaller,
this
is because of adding a kitchen, law and economics which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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introduced at the same time.
Lastly
, room for computers was added to the floor plan, in the sense that reading will be easier since
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
were used to browse newspapers.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • layout
  • visitor engagement
  • digitally equipped
  • technological advancements
  • community engagement
  • early education
  • print media
  • digital access
  • visitor orientation
  • accessibility
  • premises
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