The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.

  Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,  and make comparisons where relevent.
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The
two floor
Add a hyphen
two-floor
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sketch diagrams illustrate some information about the community library in the past two decades and the current plan. In overview, these two sketches
showing
Wrong verb form
show
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a great change and
comparing
Verb problem
comparison that
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occurred during a period of twenty years. To start with, many alters were experienced in the library, since fiction changed into infants' books.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, tables were small
in making
Change preposition
to make
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but it
changes
Wrong verb form
changed
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when they joined 2 smaller
Correct pronoun usage
ones into
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into
Correct pronoun usage
ones into
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one bigger which means eight pieces make four large.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
entrance
Correct article usage
the entrance
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and librarian's seating position remained
at
Change preposition
in
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the same place
as well as
Linking Words
staircases
Correct article usage
the staircases
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, children's
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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created
Add a missing verb
were created
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,
however
Linking Words
, newspapers and periodicals
altered
Add a missing verb
were altered
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into films and DVDs.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
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and history become smaller,
this
Linking Words
is because of adding a kitchen, law and economics which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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introduced at the same time.
Lastly
Linking Words
, room for computers was added to the floor plan, in the sense that reading will be easier since
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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were used to browse newspapers.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • layout
  • visitor engagement
  • digitally equipped
  • technological advancements
  • community engagement
  • early education
  • print media
  • digital access
  • visitor orientation
  • accessibility
  • premises
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