Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

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When it comes to the
subjects
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that the university students should take, some believe that it should be based on
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s

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passion,
while
Linking Words

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others see that it should be related to science and
technology
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as it will be beneficial for the future. In my view, considering
subjects
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to pursue higher education should provide a balance between
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s

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ambition and
the
Correct article usage
apply

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usefulness for
the
Correct article usage
apply

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society. Encouraging students to study
subjects
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that align with their
desire
Fix the agreement mistake
desires

It seems that desire may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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not only enhances their self-actualization but
also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

provides them with the opportunity to proceed along their career path successfully.
As the
Correct word choice
The

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difficulties do not seem to be their obstacles, but rather great challenges needed for growth. So, individuals who have a strong motivation
with
Change preposition
for

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their studying tend to achieve more than others.
For instance
Linking Words

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, William Shakespeare, who is well-known as one of the greatest writers, could not have reached the pinnacle of his career path without his strong passion for art.
However
Linking Words

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, learning
subjects
Use synonyms

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like science and
technology
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should be seriously considered, as
technology
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is a part of every aspect of our livelihoods and the capability to apply IT skills is one of the vital qualifications of the workforce. Being a specialist in these sectors will benefit
social
Correct article usage
the social

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dynamic and individual’s career growth.
For example
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, many prosperous Korean celebrities still need
technology
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

platforms to duplicate the number of their fan clubs to be
success
Replace the word
successful

The word success doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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in their field. In conclusion, the choice of faculty to study
in
Change preposition
at

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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university should rely on both student’s dreams and societal needs. In my view, students could not take significant steps in life without great inspiration;
however
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we should
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

incorporate
technology
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

knowledge into the
curricular
Replace the word
curriculum

The word curricular doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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to contribute to the future social fabric.
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to include a wider variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and show your linguistic range.
Task Response
To improve your essay, consider balancing the examples and elaboration between differing viewpoints more equally. This ensures a more comprehensive discussion of opposing views.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to improve the flow of your essay and the connections between paragraphs and ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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