IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Others believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and state your own opinion.

#activities #effects #plant #species #people #measures #situation
In light of the various activities undertaken by humans, they can adversely impact
on
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apply
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flora and fauna, many individuals argue that it is too late to take any steps to improve
this
 matter.
But
Correct word choice
However
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 others doubt
this
 negative outlook and believe that there are a large number of useful solutions that can address
this
 serious crisis. I concur with later.
This
 negative attitude is understandable because some of the consequences are irreversible. The rapid development of
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 occupies a large area of forestland, where plant and animal species live as habitats. Those
development
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developments
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also
 change the
earth
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earth's
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 environment,
such
 as warming
temperature
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temperatures
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,
tsunami
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tsunamis
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, and frequent extreme weather conditions. When the living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 no longer suitable for those animal species,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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extinction is inevitable. Exhaustive exploitation
to
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of
show examples
 natural resources
such
 as
woods
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wood
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,
oil
Correct word choice
and oil
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,
exacerbate
Correct subject-verb agreement
exacerbates
show examples
this
 situation.
On the other hand
, the people who
holds
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hold
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 the opinion that taking
actions
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action
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 can improve
this
 situation may believe that the ecosystem can be recovered through self-repairing capability if we take effective movement even though it will take a long time. The government can take responsibility to increase
the
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apply
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public awareness. When the notion of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 protection is embedded in individuals’ daily
life
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lives
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, the impact
from
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of
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 human activities on flora and fauna
such
 as hunting and deforestation would be greatly diminished. Innovative technology can
also
 play an important role in decreasing the negative effects. The development of alternative resources for oil would not only reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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excessive exploitation but
also
 improve air pollution. In my opinion, Taking action never be too late
although
 some
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 existed
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 plant and animal species.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
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 should establish strict legislation to restrict human incorrect actions and disseminate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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protection awareness to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
.
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Task Achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to illustrate your points, which would strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., however, furthermore, in contrast) to improve the flow of your essay and make your ideas more connected.
Task Achievement
Consider revising your essay to ensure a more balanced discussion of both views before stating your own opinion. This ensures that you fully address the prompt.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to enhance the readability and sophistication of your writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • extinction
  • reforestation
  • conservation programs
  • environmental laws
  • ecosystems
  • technological advances
  • awareness
  • interconnectivity
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem services
  • preserving
  • wildlife
  • mitigate
  • empowering
  • economic and social benefits
  • incentives
  • conservation efforts
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