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Band 2

The internet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#internet #communication #media #people #support #development #effects
The given charts illustrate how people used coal, oil, wind,
hydropower
, and renewable energy for
fuel
 production in 2002, and how they consume it nowadays. Looking into more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, the highest proportion of usage for
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of
fuel
 related to oil,
while
 it was 52% in 2002, after a notable decrease, it has reached 45%. In 2002, only 1.2% of other renewable energies
used
Add a missing verb
were used
show examples
 for
fuel
 production, but
this
 figure has dropped slightly, reaching 1%. The charts
further
reveals
Change the verb form
reveal
show examples
 that the consumers not only used
hydropower
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 8% in 2002, but nowadays they utilize it
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10%, so the usage of
hydropower
 has experienced slight growth. There has not been any considerable growth in the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 coal in order to it was 38% in 2002, and has reached 39% nowadays.
Additionally
, in 2002, only 0.8% of wind
used
Add a missing verb
was used
show examples
 for producing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fuel
, which was the lowest proportion throughout the charts, but after a marginal growth, it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
reached 5%.
Overall
,
while
 the usage of oil and other renewables has dropped,
utilizing
Replace the word
the utilisation
show examples
 of coal,
hydropower
 and wind has increased.
Submitted by Pegahghaderi85 on

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structure
Introduction and Conclusion: Your essay does not clearly define an introduction or conclusion. Begin with an introduction that paraphrases the task and outlines your essay. Conclude by summarizing your discussion or stating a clear viewpoint.
content
Respond to the Prompt: You discussed the data from charts rather than addressing the given topic about communication and social media. Ensure that you fully understand the prompt and your essay directly responds to it.
cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Organize your essay into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear main idea and cohesive support. Use transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly.
content
Task Achievement: Develop your response by discussing both views on social media and then providing your own opinion. Use specific examples to support your arguments and make sure each part of the prompt is addressed.
focus
Check the Task: Make sure you are answering the question asked. This essay seems to address a different topic. Be vigilant about understanding the essay prompt before starting your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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