The table below shows the participation of people over 15 in selected sports and physical recreation activities by gender in Australia during peroid 2011-12.

The table below shows the participation of people over 15 in selected sports and physical recreation activities by gender in Australia during peroid 2011-12.
The given chart illustrates the
number
of people aged over 15 who took part in selected sports and physical recreation activities by gender in Australia during the period 2011-12.
Overall
it can be seen that
,
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football and swimming were the most popular sport for
boys
and
girls
respectively,
whereas
tennis was the least favoured one for both genders.
Besides
, more females than males chose swimming, skiing, and hiking,
while
the opposite was true for the remaining.
To begin
with, there were almost 70
boys
who took part in football
whereas
the
number
of
girls
was one-third of that of
boys
.
Next,
nearly 60 males opted for cycling
whereas
40 females joined in
this
sport. Regarding swimming, the
number
of female
participants
was 53, 5
participants
more than that of males. Moving on to the other categories, the
number
of
girls
who took part in skiing and hiking was higher 2
participants
than of
boys
being involved in these types of activities.
In particular
, there were 27 and 25 female
participants
who joined in skiing and hiking respectively.
Lastly
, about 25
boys
participated in tennis and 19
participants
were
girls
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, boys, girls, participants with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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