IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#group #students #classroom #home
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Studying
together with
 friends at school provides more advantages than online learning at home. Is that a positive way to enhance our knowledge?
Although
 there might be some drawbacks to studying in a classroom, I think the benefits of it will be more significant. It could be argued that learning in a group is more beneficial than studying alone.
Firstly
, studying together will encourage students to share and give their ideas to the community.
Secondly
, in terms of executing the final result, they might come up with a robust yet understandable decision since they already know the pros and cons of every potential alternative that they have discussed.
In addition
, if one of them has a different perspective in certain circumstances, she could carry on her thoughts to the group for future discussion.
Hence
, it will be good for not only her development but
also
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 entire team members to enhance their analytical thinking.
Moreover
, an "in-person" class system can increase your ability to talk professionally. By discussing and conveying your ideas in front of many people, you will find yourself being fluent unconditionally.
For example
, when I was in my final year of undergraduate studies, I created a course group of 5-6 students for our thesis
defense
Change the spelling
defence
show examples
 preparation. During that time, we discussed similar topics related to our research and we allowed every one of us to present a speech about 5 minutes of something that we found interesting and vital for our thesis defense day. After two weeks, we
finally
 went on our presentation and the result was exceptional since we obtained an A for the score, and the component that helped us most was how good our public speaking was. In conclusion, an online learning system is a thing that keeps people away from society,
thus
 they will be unable to share perspectives and ideas. Studying together offers a chance to create discussions and make solutions together
as well as
 increase the public speaking skills of the students.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
For task achievement, your essay addresses the topic, but you could improve by ensuring that your introduction more clearly states your position on the prompt. Additionally, making sure each paragraph directly supports your stance with clear ideas and more specific, varied examples could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, to enhance logical structure, remember to use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main point, supported by specific examples or reasons.
general
It's important to balance both sides of the argument if the question asks 'To what extent do you agree or disagree?'. This can be achieved by mentioning counter-arguments before refuting them with stronger points supporting your stance, or by demonstrating clear reasoning why one side is more preferable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaborative learning
  • Debate
  • Discipline
  • Engagement
  • Feedback loop
  • Peer support
  • Educational resources
  • Adaptive learning
  • Self-motivation
  • Independent study
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual classroom
  • Accessibility
  • E-learning
What to do next:
Look at other essays: