IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The average time taken to manufacture transport at their factories located in US by 4 car companies from 1998 to 2005 is depicted by the given illustration.

#time #transport #factories #car #companies #illustration
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The average
time
 taken to manufacture transport at their factories located in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 by 4 car companies from 1998 to 2005 is depicted by the given illustration.
Overall
, all the manufacturers underwent a significant decline in
mentioned
Correct article usage
the mentioned
show examples
 aspect.
Additionally
, it was Honda that consumed the least amount of
time
 throughout the period. In terms of General Motor’s
time
 spent, it witnessed a dramatic fluctuation. To be more specific, it started at 32
hours
 and dropped at 22
hours
 7 years later.
Similarly
, Ford's began at 28
hours
 in the first year and reached its peak at about 31
hours
 in 2001 before decreasing
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 under 22
hours
at the end
 of the period. As regards Toyota and Honda, their amount of
time
 spent on
procedure
Add an article
the procedure
show examples
 of a vehicle ranged from 20 to 24
hours
.
However
,
whereas
 Toyota reached its bottom in 1999, Honda reached its 6 years later. Remarkably, there was a duration where both of them experienced the same number of
hours
, which
was took
Change the verb form
took
show examples
 place in 2001 and 2002.
Submitted by weezel on

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Task Achievement
Work on developing a stronger introduction that clearly states what the graph is about and what the main trends observed are. Remember to include a clear overview or a summary of the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, such as an introduction, overview paragraph, and several body paragraphs detailing each company. This will greatly enhance the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a conclusion that summarizes the main trends observed, even if the data is straightforward. Conclusions serve to neatly wrap up your analysis and reinforce the key points expressed.
Task Achievement
When writing about specific data, ensure that you provide detailed examples that accurately reflect the data presented. Reference the years and exact figures where relevant to support your points more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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