Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would be benefit both the individual teenagers and society as awhole. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, most of
work
is paid and Add an article
the work
teenagers
do
work Verb problem
apply
in
their days off or after Change preposition
on
scool
, Correct your spelling
school
also
, in the summer. However
, I noticed that some teenagers
do works
which is unpaid.
Actually, I do not think that adolescents must be required to do unpaid labour. Fix the agreement mistake
work
By
the reason Change preposition
For
of
our country is free, they can do what they want, Change preposition
apply
all
Correct word choice
and all
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
their
own right to vote. Add a missing verb
have their
Additionally
, by being volunteer
they do not have any profit and I guess, Fix the agreement mistake
volunteers
that
majority of adolescents get to Correct determiner usage
the
the
certain Correct article usage
apply
job
, Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
due to
they need some pocket money or even Change preposition
because
for supporting
a family. Change preposition
to support
In addition
to this
, most teenagers
do not have enough time just for thier
study. In my opinion, teenage time is the best period for studying, learning something new, improve your knowledge in certain Correct your spelling
their
this
sphere
.
Fix the agreement mistake
spheres
By contrast
, while
teenagers
do unpaid work, they can find their own way and future profession. By
Change preposition
At
this
point, I think, that volunteering is really
useful activity for young people. Even, Add an article
a really
it
will not be their future job, they Correct word choice
if it
would
have exciting Wrong verb form
will
experience
, Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
furthermore
, they understand that earning money is hard. In addition
, most young people, find volunteering is
fascinating. Unnecessary verb
apply
Moreover
, having internship
can be beneficial for getting Correct article usage
an internship
to
university.
In conclusion, I would like to say that, having Change preposition
into
probation
period is Correct article usage
a probation
do
useful in Unnecessary verb
apply
individualistic
and Correct article usage
an individualistic
society
way. Replace the word
social
Likewise
, I can say that there are more benefits that
Correct word choice
than
opposite
.Correct article usage
the opposite
Submitted by dnm.best on
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task achievement
Focus on clarifying your position throughout the essay. Your introduction should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the statement. The body paragraphs should then consistently support this stance with clear arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by organizing your essay more logically. Start with an introduction, follow with body paragraphs that each focus on a single main idea, and conclude with a summary. Make sure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Introduce supporting points more effectively in your arguments. When presenting a point, follow it with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve the overall readability. Correct spelling mistakes, punctuation errors, and ensure proper sentence structure.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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