IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

the graph below shows the percentages of people in different age groups to the gym at least once a month in Europe from 1998 to 2018 and the projection

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given line graph has provided data for the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 in different age
groups
Use synonyms
 visiting gyms between 1990 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited the
gym
Use synonyms
 in the 18-24 and 25-34 age
groups
Use synonyms
 observed a sharp rise,
whereas
Linking Words
 the 35-44 and over 45
groups
Use synonyms
 experienced a slight upward trend.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 over 45 were less likely to go to the gymnasium throughout the whole timeframe. Taking a closer look at the 18 to 34 age
groups
Use synonyms
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited the
gym
Use synonyms
 in the 18-24
group
Use synonyms
 went up to approximately 15% by 1994 from just below 9% in 1990 and continued to incrementally increase to 50% in 2004, followed by fluctuations between 50% and 60% in 2010. Regarding the 25-34
group
Use synonyms
, those who went to the
gym
Use synonyms
 witnessed a rise from 10% in 1990 to 30% in 1998,
then
Linking Words
 climbed to just above 40% by 2006 before reaching a high of 50% in 2010. Turning to the over 35
groups
Use synonyms
, the 35-44
group
Use synonyms
 had a slight change to 20% in 2002 from roughly 5% in 1990.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by a gradual increase to around 22% in 2006 and ended up just below 40% in 2010. With respect to the over-45
group
Use synonyms
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who hit the
gym
Use synonyms
 steadily increased to 10% from around 5% in 2004 and 1990, respectively.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, the figure experienced a sharp surge to over 20% by the end of the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words people, groups, gym, group with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: