At the present, the population some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do advantages of this situation outweigh the diadvantages?

Whether the dominant amount of young
people
over the older ones in a country is beneficial or not is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
topic which bears some
considerations
Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
show examples
. The writer argues that the
up side
Correct your spelling
upside
show examples
of guaranteeing a future workforce and the open-mindedness of the youths overshadow any of the drawbacks . One of the most advantageous aspects of having a
youn
Correct your spelling
young
population is how it can ensure a promising
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
force for the nation.
In other words
, for most countries in the world youths comprise
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the majority of their human resources which is the main attribution to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic development,
therefore
, a huge amount of
people
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their work age can guarantee a stable growth of a nation when the
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
demand is met.
For example
, Vietnam is known to have a very young workforce
compares
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to the rest of the globe and that results directly
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
its magical development rate after
war
Add an article
the war
show examples
. Another perk worth mentioning is the willingness
ro
Correct your spelling
to
change of those youths. Simply put, the young generation is more open and adaptable when it comes to the
everchanging
Correct your spelling
ever-changing
show examples
world around them so if the government has any new policies or initiatives, it will take less time
fot
Correct your spelling
for
them to adjust and make things work.
As a result
,
th
Correct your spelling
the
nation can grow at a much faster pace and greatly benefit its
people
.
By contrast
, there are some individuals who believe
thattoo
Correct your spelling
that too
many young
people
will overload the
job
market and lead to unemployment. To explain in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
, as the number of those who are looking for a
job
increases day by day, there might be a chance that there will not be enough
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
to provide for all of them and the country will end up with
employment
Correct article usage
an employment
show examples
crisis.
However
,
this
is just a common misconception because as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
, the need for
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
also
rises correspondingly with it so there will always be available sources of
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
waiting for someone to take over. In conclusion,
although
having a
youth dominant
Add a hyphen
youth-dominant
show examples
population brings the misconception of the potential scarcity of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
, it is outweighed by the pros of enhancing
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
force and being more willing to change.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear and distinct thesis statement in your introduction to outline the central argument of your essay clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure your essay effectively with clear paragraphs, each containing a single main idea supported by examples or evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a variety of linking phrases to create smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs, which enhances the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
Be mindful of typographical, spelling, and grammatical errors. Consider revising sentences like 'The writer argues that the up side of guaranteeing a future workforce and the open-mindedness of the youths overshadow any of the drawbacks', correcting phrasal inconsistencies and ensuring correct article use ('a', 'an', 'the').
Task Achievement
Incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and syntactic structures to articulate your arguments more precisely and to add nuance to your discussion.
Task Achievement
Provide specific, factual examples to support your main points. While Vietnam is mentioned, adding statistical data or a comparative analysis could further strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarizing the main points discussed in the body paragraphs and restating your stance, ensuring that it aligns with the argument articulated in the introduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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