Some people think that parents should limit the time their children spend watching TV and playing computer games and encourage them to read books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #limit #time #children #tv #computer #games #books

lmao I do not agree because not only does doing gaming things on a computer provide the

child

with creativity but

also

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

greatly

reduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

reduces

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

stress First,enjoying games on technological devices could help offspring create their own thing in their minds.To explain

further

,the

child

with a determining mindset will use technology as a tool in order to conquer knowledge that they have not ever experienced.

As a result

,the devices

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the youngster use will not exterminate the time they have consumed uselessly but

instead

place a question in their brain with creation and quality brainstorming experience.

Finally

,a computer in a young

child

's hand will be a stress-reducing engine that significantly prevents them from being overloaded.To put it simply,after an exhausting day,the children already sacrificed the whole day just to absorb the new ability to adjust their life with better soft and hard skills which drained their mental state.

Thus

this

will cause offspring to just want to relax and computers can greatly reduce the risk of

this

. well great enough that having technology in a

child

's hand can help them to create more and increase their mental life

Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on Tue Mar 12 2024

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structure

Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. An effective essay starts with an introduction that presents the topic and your viewpoint, followed by body paragraphs that support your stance, and concludes with a summary of your argument. Make sure every essay includes these components.

coherence

The logical flow between your ideas is somewhat difficult to follow. To enhance coherence, use transitional words or phrases, such as 'firstly,' 'furthermore,' and 'consequently,' to connect your sentences and paragraphs smoothly.

content

Your essay would benefit from a broader range of specific examples and evidence to support your points. Including detailed examples makes your argument more compelling and helps to clarify your position to the reader.

task response

To fully respond to the task, make sure you address all parts of the prompt. Your essay should directly answer the question by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree and explaining why, with detailed reasoning and examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

186 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that parents should limit the time their children spend watching TV and playing computer games and encourage them to read books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Crime is becoming a serious concern. Some believe that more action should be taken to prevent crime. While others feel that little action can be done to stop crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones

In many countries, there is an increase in the proportion of ageing population. Some people think that old people over the age of sixty-five cannot contribute to our society any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?