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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give opinions.

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Nowadays,
schools
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school
show examples
lessons
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 are so significant for all
pupils
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.
Therefore
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, people argue about the
ingreditens
Correct your spelling
ingredients
ingredient
 of
lessons
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.
While
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, some
individiuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 say
history
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 is
one
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 of the most important school subjects, others think in today's world, subjects
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science
Change preposition
of science
show examples
 and
technology
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 are more important than
history
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. Both views have upsides and downsides, in my opinion,
history
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 is the most significant
lesson
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 for all ages children.
This
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 essay will explain those below.
Firstly
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, every
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 should know
history
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 because if citizens do not know
history
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, they do not understand in present. Thanks to
history
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,
pupils
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 learn important
war
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wars
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, some
physcologic
Correct your spelling
psychological
 tactics or important terms which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 connected by
history
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.
For instance
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, when
i
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I
show examples
 was in high school,
history
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 was my favorite
lesson
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.
Due to
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this
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 situation,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am more successful than other
pupils
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.
Moreover
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,
Change preposition
during an
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an
Change the article
a
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 university exam
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 achieved my goals with
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history
Add an article
a history
the history
show examples
lesson
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.
Secondly
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,
science
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 and
technology
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lessons
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 importance have developed all around the world.
Recent
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In recent
show examples
 times, every
schools
Change to a singular noun
school
show examples
 can teach these
lessons
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for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their learners.
Thus
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, a lot of students want to know these
lessons
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 for their
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lives
of
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in
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future
Correct article usage
the future
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 as almost all employers want to
knowledge
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know
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 employees
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 are
knowledge
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knowledgeable
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 about
technology
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 and
science
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.
For example
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, two employees want to
entrance
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enter
show examples
same
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the same
show examples
 job.
While
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first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
one
Use synonyms
expert
Add a missing verb
is expert
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
science
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 and
technology
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 other
one
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 can not understand these
lessons
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. All employers want to work first
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
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. In conclusion, all around the world
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
lessons
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 are
so
Rephrase
very
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 significant for all
pupils
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. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, people argue about these
lessons
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.
While
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 some citizens support that
history
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 is more important others believe that
technology
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 and
science
Use synonyms
lessons
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 are more significant than
history
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
. In my view, both views have advantages and disadvantages.
Homever
Correct your spelling
However
,
history
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 is the most important
lesson
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 for students.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transitional phrases to enhance the flow.
task achievement
When presenting each view or opinion, provide detailed explanations followed by specific examples. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
grammar and accuracy
Pay attention to grammar, spelling, and punctuation to improve overall readability and to present your ideas more clearly.
lexical resource
Practice paraphrasing to avoid repetition and to demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary to the examiner.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Historical perspective
  • Analytical skills
  • Contextual understanding
  • Technological advancements
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Mathematics)
  • Innovation
  • Interdisciplinary
  • Job market
  • Climate crisis
  • Cultural identity
  • Critical thinking
  • Humanities
  • Contemporary issues
  • Integration
  • Tech-savvy
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