It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is
comman
Correct your spelling
commonly
belive
Correct your spelling
believed
show examples
that some persons
are having
Verb problem
have
show examples
some
talents
by birth, and they can do well in fields like music, and
sports
but many
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
no natural
talents
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
many
people
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that all
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
can develop their talent in fields
such
as music, and
sports
by teaching. And
this
essay
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
show examples
both
these views and
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
regarding to it It is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
comman
Correct your spelling
common
understanding in all sets of
people
that
people
are born with some
talents
naturally by birth and it is true that
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
quantity of
people
have
this
natural talent when they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
born.
For example
take
Verb problem
apply
show examples
some
people
in
sports
personalityes
Correct your spelling
personalities
like Sachin, plays cricket right from his 4th grade,
football
Correct word choice
and football
show examples
player Messi,
he
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
plays
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
professional
football
from
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
of 7
both
these players had very level
talents
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
their
respected
Replace the word
respective
show examples
sports
. But
both
environment and family supported them to achieve
the
Change the word
their
show examples
true talent. And these are not
highlited
Correct your spelling
highlighted
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society no one sees the
strugels
Correct your spelling
struggles
struggle
and problems that they face,
people
only
sees
Change the verb form
see
show examples
the success
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
the suffering that they went through. So
people
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
that
talents
can be created,
developed
Correct word choice
and developed
show examples
in any child, by proper education or training. And we do have several examples in
both
fields of music, and
sports
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
take M.S Dhoni he started his
sports
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
show examples
by
playin
Correct your spelling
playing
playin'
football
and
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
his
sports
coach, with his instructions he changed his
prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
, from
football
to cricket. And with all the
guidence
Correct your spelling
guidance
he played very well for India he won several
sliverwares
Correct your spelling
silverware
silverwares
for his country.
This
proves
talents
can
also
be developed by providing good
trsining
Correct your spelling
training
and
educating
Replace the word
education
show examples
. To
conclede
Correct your spelling
conclude
concede
this
essay, yes there are some
people
who have natural
talents
, and some can develop it bu through good training. But we need help from factors like family, environment, society and
governmnets
Correct your spelling
governments
government
to help our child,
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
achieve in any respected field discipline is very much needed in any profession and field that we choose.
Submitted by insighttribez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

logical structure
To improve your score, try to write a more structured essay. This includes having a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea and explain it in detail.
introduction conclusion present
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and delineate the topic as well as your stance on the issue. This will help to frame your essay’s argument and give it a stronger foundation.
supported main points
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. While you have included some examples, try to delve deeper into these to explain how they support your argument.
complete response
Address the task directly by discussing both views presented in the question fully before giving your own opinion. Make sure each view is explored thoroughly to fully answer the question.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and develop your ideas further. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be expanded upon with examples, reasons or consequences to strengthen your argument.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your claims. You’ve made a good start with examples of sports personalities, but try to incorporate a wider range of evidence and explain how it supports your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate abilities
  • genetic make-up
  • inherent aptitude
  • nurturing environment
  • rigorous training
  • proficient
  • initial advantage
  • consistent practice
  • perseverance
  • quality training
  • prodigies
  • dedication
  • long-term success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: