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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions #features #comparisons
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The graph shows the
population
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percentage
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 of living
cities
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 in four countries, i.e. Philippines,
Malaysia
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,
Thailand
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 and
Indonesia
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. The x-axis is the representative year which shows the
population
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percentage
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 (y-axis) every ten
years
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.
Malaysia
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 and
Indonesia
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 have had a progressive
percentage
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 of
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population
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the population
show examples
 living in the
cities
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 over the
years
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 and
predicted
Add a missing verb
are predicted
show examples
 to grow in the next 20
years
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,
while
Linking Words
Thailand
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 had a relatively stagnant growth
in
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from
show examples
 1990 to 2020, around 30% of their total
population
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.
In
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From
show examples
 1990 to 2010, the
Philippine's
Change noun form
Philippine
show examples
population
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percentage
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 living in
cities
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased and started to increase in 2020. In 2020, the most urbanized country was
Malaysia
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, followed by
Indonesia
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, Philippines and
Thailand
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. It is predicted that the ranking
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be the same in 20
years
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 ahead with all
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 trends of
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population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 living in the
cities
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.
Malaysia
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 will reach over 80% of their
population
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 living in the
cities
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 in 2030 and 2040.
Indonesia
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 will slightly get over 60% but
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 and
Thailand
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 will not exceed the number of 60%.
Submitted by azkalfath07 on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, percentage, cities, malaysia, thailand, indonesia, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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