as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result

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In recent years, more and more jobs have been replaced by

computers

Use synonyms

with artificial intelligence.

As a result

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, there are fewer and fewer

work

Use synonyms

opportunities for humans. I believe that

this

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phenomenon is going to cause some negative effects in our society.

Firstly

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, the

work

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in which workers just repeat the same tasks every time is easily completed by

computers

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For example

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, workers who

work

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in a printing factory.

Thus

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, supervisors will quit their staff and use the auto-system to reduce the cost.

Moreover

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, attributed to AI development, the need for customer services is going to decline nowadays.

According to

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a report released by OpenAI, their new AI system has performed as efficiently as humans. In brief, a massive amount of

work

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will be done by

computers

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In addition

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, the number of population losing jobs increases dramatically, so governments are forced to invest more budget to look after these citizens. What's more, the gap in wealth is

also

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extended by technology. People who have the ability to

work

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this

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high-tech industry more easily earn money with

computers

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while

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the poor have less and less chance.

For instance

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, in China, the majority of GDP in 2023 was generated by 1.5% who worked in the electronics industry.

Thus

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, it could have an M-shaped society when the world becomes technologically advanced. In conclusion, the type of jobs which do not involve human thinking and wisdom are substituted by computer systems. As far as I am concerned, the gap of economic in society become larger by

this

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phenomenon, and governments should spend more revenue to deal with it.

J.C.Li.1997.11Tue Mar 12 2024

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task achievement

Your essay directly addresses the topic and provides relevant examples, which is good. However, to enhance your score in task achievement, ensure that your points are fleshed out more comprehensively. Expand on your examples and the impact of technological advancements on job loss, providing more depth and detail.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay supports coherence, with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion. To further improve, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to more clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will make the progression of your argument even more seamless.

coherence cohesion

While your essay demonstrates cohesion, working on varying your sentence structure and using more sophisticated vocabulary can enhance the reader's engagement. Try to incorporate complex sentence structures and a wider lexicon relevant to the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

technologically advanced
automated machinery
computer controlled robots
online banking
automated teller machines (ATMs)
self-service checkouts
autonomous vehicles
economic stability
unemployment rates
skill gap
specialized training
manual labor

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as the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing more and more jobs. Describe some job positions that may be lost because of computers, and disciss at least one problem that may result

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want,but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future.

some people think schools should only teach students academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to distinguish between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities and take their children along with them. Some people think that this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Multinational companies are becoming increasingly common in developing countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?