Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Technology
has complicated our lives excessive
. Change the word
excessively
However
some Add a comma
However,
people
argue the solution to this
problem is to simplify one's lifestyle by reducing reliance on the technology
. I completely disagree with this
opinion
Admittedly Technology
undermining
human social interaction Wrong verb form
undermines
for example
nowadays a lot of children checking
their phone Wrong verb form
check
feed
at dinner time or Fix the agreement mistake
feeds
employees
Rephrase
when employees
receiving
. Constant phone calls rather Wrong verb form
receive
over
to talk with their parents. Another reason loss of Correct word choice
than over
job
. Today Correct article usage
a job
the
Correct article usage
apply
modernity
Replace the word
modern
technology
replaced a lot of humans
job places because the work is done by robots which in the Fix the agreement mistake
human
pass
Correct your spelling
past
this
job to do by people
I However
believe that technology
make
Change the verb form
makes
easy
our lives. The primary Correct word choice
apply
people
can focusing
more important things in their lives. Change the verb form
focus
be focusing
In other words
if
in the past Correct word choice
apply
people
most of his
time spent cleaning their own homes nowadays Correct pronoun usage
their
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
technology
have
assumed Change the verb form
has
this
obligation and allowing
Wrong verb form
allows
people
spend
their time on themselves or earning money. Fix the infinitive
to spend
Besides
the
mobile Correct article usage
apply
technology
helped people
o
Correct your spelling
to
rounded
miac period Wrong verb form
round
thus
. Thus
have also
proved reliable communication in times of emergency such
as global pandemics or natural disasters like and
tsunamis. Which helps maintain correspondence regardless of the circumstances
In Correct word choice
apply
conclusion
leading Add a comma
conclusion,
as
simpler life without Correct your spelling
a
technology
may work for some individuals but for most people
the
more comfortable using Correct your spelling
they
technology
mindfulness and intentionally.Submitted by ina1_95 on
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Task Achievement
Develop a clear introduction by outlining your stance and summarizing your main points. This will set a strong foundation for your essay.
Task Achievement
Improve your conclusion by summarizing your arguments succinctly and restating your position. This will give your essay a strong finish.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all parts of your essay are logically connected. Transition phrases can help.
Coherence and Cohesion
For greater cohesion, structure your paragraphs so each begins with a topic sentence that introduces the paragraph's main idea. Support this with examples or explanations.
General
Use more varied sentence structures and precise vocabulary to clearly express your views and support your arguments. This will also enhance readability.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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