IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The Diagram illustrates the Making of
Electricity
Use synonyms
 and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
 in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 Ten Countries in 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, Every
country
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 shown in
this
Linking Words
 Graph
Make
Change the verb form
Makes
show examples
 more
Electricity
Use synonyms
 Than their Use of
Energy
Use synonyms
acxept
Correct your spelling
except
 one
country
Use synonyms
,
that is
Linking Words
 Germany. Their Consumption is more than their
production
Use synonyms
 of
Electricity
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, China Holds the
Number
Use synonyms
 one
Spot
Fix capitalization
spot
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 list with the most making
energy
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of 5.398kWh and
Correct article usage
a counsumption
show examples
counsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of 5.322
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is just
Slightly
Fix capitalization
slightly
show examples
 below their
Production
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, America Is just behind China
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Producing
Electricity
Use synonyms
 and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Usage
Use synonyms
 with
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of (4.099) for Making
Electricity
Use synonyms
 and 3.866 for their use.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the Korea
show examples
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic Is the
most least
Change the adjective
least
show examples
Electricity
Use synonyms
 producing
Country
Use synonyms
 and
Also
Linking Words
 in
Cousumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
.
In Addition
Linking Words
, Germany is
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
country
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
 of
Electricity
Use synonyms
 is Just cross their
production
Use synonyms
 of
Energy
Use synonyms
. With the
number
Use synonyms
, (526.6)
production
Use synonyms
 and (582.5)
cousumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Every Other
Country
Use synonyms
 In
this
Linking Words
 list
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 more
energy
Use synonyms
 than their
Usage
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mateentariq582 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, usage, country, energy, production, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • electricity grid
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • power generation
  • industrial demand
  • residential use
  • transmission losses
  • energy imports
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy policy
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • demand and supply
  • electrification
  • energy security
  • grid reliability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: