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Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014.
#bar #ten #countries #production #consumption #electricity
The Diagram illustrates the Making of
Electricity
 and
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
usage
 in
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 Ten Countries in 2014.
Overall
, Every
country
that is
 shown in
this
 Graph
Make
Change the verb form
Makes
show examples
 more
Electricity
 Than their Use of
Energy
acxept
Correct your spelling
except
 one
country
,
that is
 Germany. Their Consumption is more than their
production
 of
Electricity
.
Firstly
, China Holds the
Number
 one
Spot
Fix capitalization
spot
show examples
 in
this
 list with the most making
energy
 with
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of 5.398kWh and
Correct article usage
a counsumption
show examples
counsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 of 5.322
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is just
Slightly
Fix capitalization
slightly
show examples
 below their
Production
.
Moreover
, America Is just behind China
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Producing
Electricity
 and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Usage
 with
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of (4.099) for Making
Electricity
 and 3.866 for their use.
On the other hand
,
Correct article usage
the Korea
show examples
Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
show examples
 Republic Is the
most least
Change the adjective
least
show examples
Electricity
 producing
Country
 and
Also
 in
Cousumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
.
In Addition
, Germany is
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
country
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the list,
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
usage
 of
Electricity
 is Just cross their
production
 of
Energy
. With the
number
, (526.6)
production
 and (582.5)
cousumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
.
Furthermore
, Every Other
Country
 In
this
 list
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
 more
energy
 than their
Usage
.
Submitted by mateentariq582 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, usage, country, energy, production, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • megawatt-hours (MWh)
  • electricity grid
  • renewable energy sources
  • fossil fuels
  • energy efficiency
  • consumption patterns
  • power generation
  • industrial demand
  • residential use
  • transmission losses
  • energy imports
  • sustainability
  • carbon footprint
  • energy policy
  • capacity
  • infrastructure
  • demand and supply
  • electrification
  • energy security
  • grid reliability
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