IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The images below explain the process of how pollutants from modern life become acid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain.

#images #process #pollutants #life #acid #rain #pollutes #environment #food #chain
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given diagram explains the way in which the process of pollution causes acid rain and its impact on the environment and the food chain.
Overall
Linking Words
, what stands out from the diagram is that it is a linear process that consists of several main stages, starting with releasing of some compounds and ending in damage to nature. The process commences when a wide range of compounds, including carbon dioxide, sulphur dioxide, nitrogen oxides and mercury, are released from housing, transport, factories, and power stations.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, these pollutants rise to the atmosphere, and they are
then
Linking Words
 absorbed by clouds. After that, polluted clouds start to go to a lot of countries and continents, and it is followed by the falling of acid rain to natural spots
such
Linking Words
 as hills, fields, plants, rivers, and lakes. In the final step of
this
Linking Words
 procedure, it leads to the pollution of the environment and the food chain.
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Be sure to fully extend and support your main ideas with specific details or examples. While you've summarized the process, including more specific examples or expanding on the significance of each step could enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
You've established a logical flow in your essay, which is commendable. To improve, consider varying your linking phrases and ensuring smooth transitions between ideas to enhance reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
While you have included an introduction and conclusion, you could benefit from making your concluding statements more reflective or evaluative of the overall process to strengthen the impact of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: